


North Star

by KatrinGalene



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book: New Moon, F/M, Non-Human Bella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4779665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinGalene/pseuds/KatrinGalene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were not perfect. Things were not the way they were before. But that was all right. Very few things are perfect, and nothing is the way it was before. Things change, usually slowly, until they're unrecognizable. I would have a lot of time to deal with changes if I was going to live forever. I was at peace with the way things were now. And after all, things had not been perfect before, either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Thanks for giving a brand new fanfic author a try. A few announcements before we get started:
> 
> For the wolf fans: I don't want to waste your time, so let me say this up front-this will be a vampire-centric story. The wolves are basically a plot device, and are not actually featured much. Those of you on Team Jacob, you might want to give this one a miss. Sorry.
> 
> Most of you probably know that Stephenie Meyer says she listens to music as she writes, and has playlists on her website for each of the Twilight novels, including Midnight Sun. I decided to take some inspiration from that, so there will be corresponding songs for each chapter. You absolutely do not have to track them down and listen to them, but I thought it would be something fun for those who might want to. The songs for each chapter will be posted below any disclaimer. I set a challenge for myself not to use any songs that SM had already used, nor any featured in the movies. (I also tried not to repeat artists, but I couldn't help myself a few times.) I've found a few great new songs artists this way, and you might, too!
> 
> Just one more thing, I think, before we jump in. I plan to post new chapters Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'll post an author's note if that schedule changes. I didn't want to post this until I'd completely written the story, but I just couldn't wait to share any longer! Besides, I have the plot all planned and most things written out. So there!
> 
> Okay, I think that's everything! Everyone buckled in? Got snacks? Did we all...you know, go? Then let's get this show on the road! -KG
> 
> Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters or situations are not mine. Unless stated otherwise, they are solely the creation of Stephenie Meyer. This work is merely a fan's imaginings of her Twilight series, originally published by Little, Brown, and Company. I make no profit from this work, and do not intend to infringe on the rights of the author or publisher.
> 
> Song: Skin & Bones-by David J. Roch

_"Yours is the light by which my spirit's born...you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars." - e. e. cummings_

_BPOV_

Pain.

Pain was all there was. Pain was all there had been and all that would ever be.

Burning. Why wouldn't the burning stop? Why wasn't someone putting it out? When would it end? When would it completely devour me and leave me in ashes? I knew, though, that this fire was not consuming me. It would not end. It would not end.

It felt vaguely familiar, the burning, but worse than before. Oh, God, millions of times worse than before. Then-whenever then had been-it had eaten my hand and had crawled up my arm, I knew that much. Then...someone had stopped it. Someone had put it out. Who had put it out? What angel of mercy had saved me from the burning before? I wanted more than anything to be able to recall his name, his face, but I just couldn't.

I didn't even know my own name. I didn't know who I was, or where I was, who I was with, who had done this to me. What animal was screaming nearby, and why...all these things I didn't know.

"Bella...Bella..."

A word-a name?-whispered in my ear. The breath was hot. I turned away and screamed.

Oh. The guttural screams of the animal being slaughtered was me.

The breath left me alone, but I could still hear the voice, a familiar voice, sobbing. Pleading with me. "Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I couldn't ask who, or why. I could only scream.

After what felt like an eternity, the pain became worse. It started to retreat from my fingers and toes, which I took as a good sign, at first. But the burning intensified where it remained, and my fingers and toes were uncomfortably cold in comparison, and I could not reconcile the two extremes.

The burning continued to retreat, further and further, to the core of my body, until at last, it only occupied my heart. I could feel my poor heart speed up.

This...wasn't so bad. My heart had been through a lot, that much I knew. What, exactly, I didn't know, but for some reason I was glad to know it was still there. I didn't know why I thought it hadn't been.

But the comfort didn't last for long. My heart kept going faster and faster, impossibly fast, and then suddenly, without warning, it stopped. The pain disappeared at the same moment.

I fought the urge to begin gasping, to begin catching my breath. I was surprised to find I didn't need it.

I laid there, still, eyes shut, suddenly afraid. Someone had done this to me, I was certain of it. Were they still here? Were they nearby? Were they friend or foe? Maybe I could play dead.

_No,_ I thought. _That was dumb._

I heard stirring nearby. I should have jumped up, started running or fighting, but I was too afraid.

"B-Bella?" a ragged voice asked. The voice sounded so heartbroken, so woebegone that I couldn't help it.

I opened my eyes.


	2. Take Care of Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Learn To Be Lonely-by Andrea Ross

_BPOV_

A familiar person towered over me, even though he was just kneeling beside me. I could not decide if he was a boy or a man. He was inhumanly tall and muscular, but had a face more like a child. The tear tracks down his cheeks enhanced his childlike traits.

I could not place him, but I knew I knew him. He was my friend. Maybe the only one I had.

Wordlessly, I held out my hand. He looked like he didn't know what to do. He looked like he wanted to start sobbing again. But instead, he grasped my fingers.

He flinched as our skin touched. I did the same. He was uncomfortably hot. It reminded me of the burning, in fact, but I didn't let go. Neither did he.

"Bella," he whispered in that broken voice. "I'm so sorry," he said again.

Bella. Bella was me.

"Bella, believe me, we tried to stop her, but we just...we got there too late. We should have been keeping a closer eye on you, especially after that leech with the dreads got away..."

My poor friend broke down in sobs again.

I took the opportunity to look around. Even though the sun was behind the clouds, everything was impossibly bright and colorful. I was laying on a mountainside, in a patch of dead, brown grass. It was flattened all around me, probably from my thrashing. (I guessed I'd been thrashing.)

"Bella." I turned to him again. "I...I know it'll be hard, but you have to make the right decision." He sighed. "We killed that redheaded lee-sorry-vampire before she...she tortured you too much..."

Vampire? Was that what I was now? Somehow, this didn't surprise me as much as perhaps it should have.

"Bella-listen to me, this is very important: You can't come back to Forks. You can't come back home." He sighed. "I spoke before the council, I told them you would be like those-those Cullens you loved so much, that you would only drink the blood of animals, but I guess it doesn't really matter now. I guess you can do whatever you want. Because you can't come home, Bells. I carried you this far into the Yukon because you can't come home." He had tears in his eyes again. "We'll have to kill you if you come home."

I closed my eyes. Jacob. He was Jacob. He was my other angel of mercy. He had put me back together when my first angel of mercy-whom I still could not place, but I was betting he was one of those Cullens-had broken me. He had saved me from death, had sat beside me while I burned and came out the other side, had begged for my life. But...why?

I felt like crying, if I could. Somehow I knew I couldn't.

Jacob sighed deeply. "The truth is, it would have been down to me to kill you, Bells. And you know I couldn't do that. I could never do that, not ever. Especially when you haven't done anything wrong. Not yet anyway." His brows furrowed. "We can't do anything to you unless you come home-back to our hunting grounds-but please, Bells, try not to kill anybody. For me. Please? I...I couldn't stand it if-"

His voice quivered and he looked like he might cry again.

"Okay, Jake," I said. "I promise."

He looked relieved, then desperately sad.

"I have to go home now, Bells," he said. "They need me. This is...this is goodbye."

He helped me sit up, and only then was I aware that the fire had returned, this time at the back of my throat. I hadn't even realized how thirsty I was. But I wasn't about to drain Jake. He was the only friend I knew, and besides, I didn't think I could handle the wet dog smell for very much longer.

But I did stand it, because we hugged for a very long time. Neither of us cried. He wouldn't, I couldn't. As we pulled back, he said in a shaky voice, "Take care of yourself, Bells." He touched my cheek, and tried to stop himself from flinching.

I nodded. "Thank you-for everything, Jake."

He nodded brusquely, then he turned and ran down the mountain. He hit a line of trees before too long, and was out of sight. Then, before too much longer, I heard a wolf howl in the distance. It broke my cold, still heart, and a part of me wanted to howl back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I know, short again. I'm sorry. They do get longer, I swear! Thank you for reading, and thank you to those who left kudos and comments already. You guys are the best!


	3. Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This chapter contains brief dialogue quoted from New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Song: The Crane Wife 3-by The Decemberists

_EPOV_

"Edward? Edward, please look at us."

I forced my eyes open to look at my family. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Alice were there, crouching or kneeling in various positions around me. I could hear the familiar mental voices of Emmett and Rosalie outside.

I wasn't sure whether to be furious or panicked. They were all blocking me out of their thoughts in their own favorite ways.

I wasn't sure what their intrusion upon my self-imposed exile or their masked thoughts meant. I didn't particularly care. I just wanted them to leave me alone.

"Please," I said, my head in my hands. "I've missed you all, believe me, but...I still need to be alone."

"Edward," Alice said softly. She was closest to me. She put her hand on my knee. "It's Bella."

My head snapped up. A feral growl ripped from my throat. Alice kept her hand on my knee, her eyes full of an emotion I'd never seen there before. I didn't recognize it in an unfamiliar context.

Jasper tensed, knowing I would know if he interfered with my emotions, and knowing it would only make my anger worse if he did.

"I told you not to-"

"I couldn't help it, Edward," she said, her voice still soft. "You know how the big ones just come to me sometimes."

I stopped growling and swallowed. "A big one?" My heart would be fluttering right now, if it could still beat. I finally placed the emotion in Alice's eyes: It was sorrow.

"Edward...she's dead."

I recoiled from my sister's touch. I knocked her hand off my knee as I stood up quickly, banging my head on the low ceiling. I hardly felt it. Dust, splinters, and pulverized wood floated down from the beam I'd hit my head on. I sat back down on the cot.

"Edward?"

"No," I finally said. "No. It's not true. You're lying."

She didn't even seem hurt by my accusation. That bottomless sorrow remained in her eyes. "Why would I lie?" she asked, her voice still soft, full of pity and patience.

"You want us to go back. You want me to see her again. You know if I see her again, my resolve will break and everything will go back to normal. She'll be your best friend again. Alice, don't you get it? We  _can't_ go back.  _I_ can't go back.  _We're not good for her_."

"We  _can_  go back, Edward. There's nothing stopping us now. Edward, I saw it. She-she's dead."

"Show me," I said.

"Edward..."

"If you're not lying, show me!" I yelled.

Alice looked helplessly at Carlisle. She was still firmly thinking about the latest red carpet fashion faux pas. Carlisle looked sadly back at her and nodded. She sighed and showed me her memory of the vision.

It was shimmery, which meant she probably saw it as it had happened, maybe a few seconds before.

There she was! There was Bella! My Bella. Just seeing her made me feel whole again. I wanted to reach out and touch her...

Then I looked at her. She was much thinner than I'd left her. There were circles under her eyes. My angel hadn't been sleeping well. And in her eyes and face, there was an...emptiness that I'd never seen there before. Not sadness or despair or disbelief, the things I'd seen on her face as I turned away from her. Her face was empty. Her brown eyes were flat.

I realized I was gasping for air. She was supposed to move on. What had I done to her?

Then I realized where she was standing. She was standing on the edge of a cliff. To my horror, she shuffled up to the very edge, her toes hanging over the side.

"Bella." I reached out as I spoke to her.

She smiled, as if she could hear me. As if she still loved me after what I did to her.

"Don't do this," I pleaded. She couldn't hear me. I reminded myself that she couldn't hear me. "Please. For me," I said anyway. My voice was raspy with desperation. "Please." I could only get a whisper out.

To my horror, she rose to the balls of her feet. What on earth was she thinking? Panic freed my voice. "No, Bella!" I yelled.

She smiled again. And the next thing I knew, she had jumped.

_Oh, God, she had jumped._

I watched, frozen in horror, as she screamed, as she fell through the air. She hit the water and plunged deep, too deep. I watched as the current grabbed her, pulling her deeper under. I watched her fight, and then slow with fatigue.

"Keep swimming!" I cried. She went limp. "Stop that! Don't you dare give up!"

She started to renew her fight, again, as if she could hear me. But she soon slowed again. "Fight! Damn it, Bella, keep fighting."

She went limp again. A dull smile lit up her pale face as the waves fell far above her. "No! Bella, no!" I yelled. She couldn't hear me. She couldn't know I loved her still. She couldn't know how sorry I was, how wrong I had been...

I saw red roiling in the water before I realized what it was. In my dull mind, I thought it was somehow fire. Then I realized: It was hair. Victoria.

I felt a jolt of shock. Victoria? But I had tracked her here, to Brazil...

I didn't have time to be surprised. The vision went on.

Victoria was in the water. In the water with Bella.  _No._

She drew near, and there was nothing I could do but watch. Her pale arm went around Bella's chest, and she pulled her up to the surface.

What was she doing?  _Why_  was she doing it?

She cut through the water sharply, hauling Bella to the shore. She roughly threw her onto the beach, knocking some water out of Bella's system.

Then she drew near to Bella, her teeth bared. I yelled in horror and rage as Victoria bit her.

She bit her on the neck.

And then, abruptly, the vision ended.

Bella was dead.

Victoria hadn't needed to drain her blood. Bella had died. The water had overwhelmed her, too much had gotten into her lungs, and she had just drowned before my eyes.

My true surroundings swam back into place before my eyes. There was silence, except for a keening that I realized was coming from my own mouth.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't be here anymore. I had to go to her. I needed to see her again. If she sent me away, I would gladly go. But first, I had to go to her.

In one fluid movement, I rose and broke through the room's only window, which happened to be boarded, landing in a back alley.

I had forgotten that Rosalie and Emmett were outside, probably waiting for me on Alice's command.

They each grabbed one of my arms, struggling to wrestle me to the ground. Luckily, they were the only ones in the alley. But the people on the surrounding streets could probably hear the noise I was making. I didn't care.

"Let me go!" I yelled. "Please! I have to go to her!"

The rest of my family appeared on the street. Jasper took Rosalie's place holding my left arm, and she disappeared, probably to draw the locals' attention away from what they thought was a most violent murder. I could immediately feel a tug, meaning Jasper was trying to numb me, to take away my despair. It wouldn't work. My despair was endless. He would never be able to take it all away.

Esme appeared in front of me, taking my face in her hands. "Edward," she said quietly. "We love you. Please. Don't do something we will all regret."

I nearly started laughing. "Don't you see, Esme? I've already done it! I left her. I'm the reason she...she..." I couldn't go on. I felt myself start to tremble. The keening started again.

Esme stepped back, and Carlisle stepped forward to face me. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Son," he said. "We understand that you need time to grieve. So do we. We all loved her. Not like you, of course, but...we will miss her too. Edward...we will help you through this. It may take decades. Centuries, even. But we will be there for you through it all."

"Edward, please," Alice chimed in. "Come home with us. We love you. We need you here."

"I need  _her_. Please," I rasped out. Like Bella, I had run out of fight. I collapsed to the ground, nearly pulling Emmett and Jasper on top of me. "Please let me go."

Emmett sighed, rubbing my arm. "We can't do that, bro. Are you even trying, Jasper?"

"Yes," Jasper snapped. "I'm taking away as much as I can, but it just keeps coming."

"You may as well stop, Jasper," Carlisle sighed. The tugging stopped, and the darkness and despair enveloped me.

"Please," I whispered.

"We're taking you home, Edward," Carlisle's voice said from nearby. "I can't promise it will be all right, son. I can't promise it will ever go back to normal. But it will get better. We will help you through this. We love you. We will never leave you."

 _The way I left her..._  was my last conscious thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Serious chat time: These are fictional characters, and their actions and reactions are for dramatic purposes, and to stay as true as possible to their canon characterizations. Let's get this straight: Suicide is not romantic. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, for whatever reason, help is available. My profile has a resource link. I wish someone had told me it was okay to ask for help. I wouldn't be around if I hadn't figured it out.
> 
> Whew, okay. I felt compelled to add that. Sorry for this whole downer of a chapter. We've got a couple more bummer updates, then things start getting better for our characters. Hope you stick around for that!


	4. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Time Isn't Healing-by Tom Felton.

_**...2007...** _

_**...2008...** _

_**...2009...** _

_**...2010...** _

_**...2011...** _

_EPOV_

I've been given an inordinate amount of time to think about time. And like everyone before me, I've found one undeniable thing to be true about it: It goes on. As much as we sometimes wish it would fold back upon itself, or stop altogether. But it goes on, cruelly, with or without us. It dragged on with me, and without my love.

And I went on, too, as I always had...as much as I wish I hadn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't expect you to wait three days for an update to that pathetic excuse for a chapter. And I'm not going to make you. Chapter Four should be up shortly if it isn't already, because I love you.


	5. Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Long Gone-by Mary Epworth

_EPOV_

I idly wondered how long I had been lying in the snow. I wondered how fast the snow was falling. I'd been lying so still for so long that I was covered completely. But that didn't necessarily mean I'd been lying there long. Like time, the weather had very few cares.

I closed my eyes against the snow cocooned around me. Time had little meaning for me, anymore. But the Denalis had a calendar hanging in their kitchen. I glanced at it from time to time.

The year was 2012. Today was the sixteenth of March.

It was the sixth anniversary of the day she had died.

I was mostly numb now. Carlisle had been right-it wasn't all right, and I doubted it ever would be. But it had gotten better. Marginally.

I couldn't stand to be around other people's thoughts for very long anymore. I could hardly stand my own. Being around my immediate family was especially painful. Some part of them, all of them, blamed me. And for a while, they were still like me: In mourning. Little things would bring to mind a perfect memory of... _her_. They often remembered her happy, smiling. And so did I. But I was haunted by her appearance in Alice's final vision of her. I could not forget it. And I could not forget that  _I had done that to her_.

But the worst part was the certainty in their thoughts: That I just needed time. That I would get over it. And that someday, maybe, I might find someone else.

I knew that I would not get over it. I knew that there would be no one else.

They had been wonderful, really, at first. Some time after the initial shock of her...death...their thoughts finally began rebroadcasting in my nearly comatose mind. They were full of love and concern and acceptance. They were each mentally begging me to come to my senses, to stay with them. And some part of their earlier words and sincere thoughts broke through to me. I had caused enough pain; I could not hurt them further.

Besides, I did not deserve oblivion. And hell could not be worse than my current state of existence; either way, she would be gone, and I would be the reason for it. I did not dare to hope for heaven. If by some impossible way I made it there, I wouldn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to be with her. And if I did make it, surely she would send me away.

I deserved every bit of agony I felt, every bit of unspeakable anguish. I deserved it all and more. So I chose to live with it.

They brought me back to Forks, where we set out to hunt and end Victoria. But Carlisle came home one day with the news that the wolves had returned, and that they had done it for us.

We all withdrew after that. We had hoped to bring Bella some modicum of justice, but even that had been taken from us. So we kept to ourselves, and they were patient with me for a very long time. But then it began to creep into their thoughts-the annoyance, the bitterness, the resentment. Not directed at Bella-well, rarely, except in Rosalie's case. Usually at me:

_He brought this on himself; he made us leave her!_

_Why isn't he over this yet?_

_She was just a human._

That was the worst. After all, weren't we all human once?

That might have been the hardest part: Their thoughts betrayed them. Their words and gestures showed only heartbreak and sympathy for me. They seemed to forget that I could hear what they really meant. To all of them, except maybe Alice, she had been just a human. I began to realize that they had loved her while she lived; but as the years dragged on, they began to miss _her_  less and less. They, more and more, missed what she had done for me. After all, she was, "just a human." And humans were always so fleeting.

After five years, I decided to give all of us a break from each other. Their thoughts grated on me, and my unceasing mourning grated on them. None of us were willing to change our ways just yet. I wanted to go off on my own, but they did not yet trust me to be alone. They'd put me in the Volvo. I knew the way to Denali.

 _Hey,_ a soft voice interrupted my reverie.  _Edward? Where are you?_

I sighed, and slowly began to dig my way out of my snow tomb. Before long, someone on the surface heard me and began to help me from the other side. Soon, strawberry blonde curls fell forward into the hole we had made.

Internally, Tanya giggled a little at the position I'd put myself in. But outwardly, she restrained herself for my sake, just smiling a little and offering a hand to pull me out. I took it.

My only reservation about going to Denali had been my apprehension about seeing Tanya, or rather, her thoughts. But over the phone, she had offered her deepest sympathies and promised to do her best to respect my boundaries. I was appreciative.

I got up out of the little snow cave, brushing the snow off of my clothes and shaking it out of my collar and sleeves. Tanya stood by and watched. She peered into my eyes and sighed.

_Edward, you need to hunt._

"I don't feel like it," I grunted.

She sighed again.  _You're going to have an accident if you don't hunt._

"Because I'm around so many humans," I said, a little more snappishly than I intended.

_It won't help anything, depriving your system of blood._

"I told you, I don't feel like it today!"

She held back for a minute, then,  _I don't care if it's penance, Edward. And neither would she. Surely, she wouldn't want you starving yourself._

I winced and turned away. I hated when Tanya invoked  _her_  to make me do something. Usually, it was to make me feed. I always wanted to yell at her when she did. I wanted to tell her that she hadn't even known her. How dare she? How would she know what  _she_  wanted for me?

Yet somehow, she was always right. I remembered  _her_  fretting when my eyes got too dark, worrying about my possible discomfort at my proximity to her. I shook my head. Silly girl...she knew that I could kill her with one wrong twitch of my finger, and she was always worried about  _me_.

I sighed, coming back to myself with Tanya's thoughts. She always brought  _her_  up as a last resort, and always worried after she did that she'd gone too far.

"No, you're right, Tanya," I said. "I do need something to drink." Tanya was right about the penance, too; I always waited for as long as I could stand until I hunted, or until Tanya guilted me into doing it. Why should I nourish myself when she was no longer able to do the same for herself? But Tanya had a point: Assuming she hadn't hated me after my departure, she wouldn't want me to torture myself.

But sometimes, I just couldn't help wallowing in my guilt and grief.

_Mind if I join you? Or do you want to go alone?_

I turned to the beautiful woman before me. She often preferred to talk to me with her thoughts.

I had been with the Denalis for about a year, and it was immensely better than being with my family. First, the Denalis had no memories of  _her_ , having never met her. Though they didn't understand my brooding either, they respected my privacy more than my family did.

They all refrained from spontaneous lovemaking during the rare times I was actually in the compound. But sometimes, a tender thought would unexpectedly shoot through one of the mated vampires' heads, and I would feel a shooting pain in my gut. They always thought apologetic thoughts at my back as I fled.

Tanya was really the only one who sought me out. I had been nervous about her behavior at first, but she had surprised me-not one suggestive thought about me had slipped into her mind since I'd arrived. Most certainly, she kept herself busy with her own love life, but she kept even those thoughts and memories from me. I was touched at her level of commitment to respecting my mourning.

Her company was the easiest to take. In fact, her presence was almost...soothing. But with her now, the end of a phone conversation with Carlisle from several days ago kept replaying in my head.

Kate had just finished whispering to him that Tanya was the only one who could get me to hunt when I walked in on her unexpectedly. She froze and handed me the phone with a hasty smile, telling me that Carlisle had called for me.

I sighed and took the phone from her. "Edward," Carlisle said warmly as Kate made a quick exit. "How are you?"

"The same," I said monotonously.

"We miss you."

"Yeah," I said noncommittally. I missed the way things were before...before I'd gone and so colossally ruined everything.

He gave me a quick update. My siblings had all gone off together for a while. He reminded me that he and Esme had moved to the outskirts of Abbotsford, British Columbia after I'd left them. The townspeople had never even known we'd returned to Forks. My family had gotten restless, hiding in the house, and there were too many memories there. I knew what he meant.

He asked me again how I was doing. If I'd hunted recently.

"Three weeks ago," I said.

"Did you go alone?" he asked carefully.

"With Tanya," I admitted.

"When you were with us, you'd go months without sometimes," he said sadly.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging.

"Son," he said. "I know you're not where you want to be right now. In life, I mean."

I snorted rudely.

An unpleasant shock jolted me at his next words, which, if I was honest, a part of me had been expecting for some time.

"Life isn't fair, son. We all know that. But sometimes...sometimes you have to make do with what you have. Sometimes...you have to love  _who_  you have. Do you know what I mea-"

I couldn't hang up the phone fast enough or hard enough. I backed away from the receiver, clenching my hands and unclenching them. I was surprised when the phone didn't ring again. Maybe I'd broken the landline. Maybe Carlisle knew he'd crossed a line.

Or maybe he was purposely leaving me alone with my thoughts, to ponder the wisdom of what he'd just said...

With an angry cry, I'd bolted from the compound. I'd taken down more than a few trees before my return.

Tanya was waiting patiently for a reply.

"Tanya...why have you been so nice to me?"

She looked surprised at my bluntness, but answered anyway. "I, too, have known loss, Edward," she said out loud, startling me. Her thoughts drifted to the execution of her mother. "I know it was different," she continued, "but I loved her very much, and it came as a total shock. And, well..." Her thoughts then drifted to the days before her animal diet, when she still drank human blood. Images of men upon men lying in bed, cold, still; hundreds of them, maybe over a thousand; I saw them from Tanya's perspective in the corner. She was weeping, as she realized she'd been unable to stop herself, that she'd done it  _again_...

"Stop!" I yelled. "Don't you  _dare_ compare your...your  _conquests_  to what she and I had!"

Tanya sighed. "I know, Edward. And I'm sorry. I know your love was different. You managed to find your one; that much is obvious. I just thought..."

_I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry._

I sniffed, turning away. I needed to hunt. This conversation was over. "I think I'll go out on my own this time, Tanya. Thanks."

She gave me a little smile, but her thoughts hitched a little. She knew I'd been treating her differently, more coldly, over the past few days. She didn't know why. She was hurt. Her thoughts didn't betray much else though, because she regained a hold on them quickly.

"Okay," she said. "See you when you get back, Edward."

She turned back to the house, and I watched her go. I shook my head. Why Carlisle had felt the need to plant the thought in my head, I'd never know. I wasn't afraid to be around Tanya, I decided. I was most certainly  _not_ in danger of falling in love with her.

I would not entertain Carlisle's notion. My love deserved my eternal devotion. I would not move on. Not with Tanya, not with anyone.

No, I thought to myself, as I turned and ran in the opposite direction Tanya had. I would never move on.

* * *

_CPOV_

I sighed as I hung up the phone. According to Tanya, Edward had finally decided to go out hunting. I hoped she was being truthful. I hoped he wasn't just avoiding me.

I tried desperately to defend what I had said to him the last time I'd spoken to him. I didn't feel bad about what I'd said, exactly. There was nothing we could do for Bella now. But Edward was still alive, still with us. And I, as his father, was obligated to do what I could to help him. I felt what I'd said needed to be said. I just wanted him to be happy again. And if Tanya made him happy on some level, then I wanted him to do what he needed to do to stay happy.

But as I turned, my eyes fell upon Esme. She was sitting at the old dining table we always brought along with us. She was frowning at a set of blueprints, lost in her own world. She was trying to keep herself busy with remodeling the new house.

I suddenly remembered the night she had been wheeled into the morgue; her body broken, her heartbeat faint and growing fainter. I had not fully known, then, that she was my mate. I had not seen her in ten years, I barely knew her. She had been just another human...could easily have been just another tragic case I might have let pass before me...But I knew in my ancient bones that I had to save her, that the world would be less bright with her in it, that, perhaps, some part of me would die without her.

I sighed again and ran my fingers through my hair. Maybe I  _had_ overstepped a boundary with Edward. I could not imagine knowing even a fraction of the love that Esme and I shared now, and losing it. And for someone I loved and respected to suggest to me that I should move on, to be happy with someone else, and so soon...

Yes, I had made a mistake, but I decided to wait at least a few hours before calling Edward's cell directly to apologize. If he really was hunting, I didn't want to disturb him.

At that moment, the cell phone in my own hand buzzed to life. The screen lit up, displaying Jasper's name.

"Yes?" I said, answering quickly.

Edward had been in such a fog since Bella's death, I'd decided not given him all of the details on his siblings' whereabouts. I doubted he would care, anyway. But if he did care, I didn't want him to worry.

We had been watching the news carefully over the past several years, since Jasper had noticed a small string of disappearances in Oregon shortly after Bella's death. The handful of disappearances had swollen to hundreds; some as far south as northern California, but more in Oregon, and mostly in Washington State. The humans were grasping at straws. They were guessing at everything from alien abductions to a devil-worshipping cult. There had even been a whole ferry of people that disappeared into thin air.

Jasper, of course, knew the signs too well. He and Emmett had decided to go to Seattle, which seemed to be the epicenter of the terrible ordeal, to find out what they could. We all agreed it was best they maintain a low profile, for several reasons. Alice and Rosalie had insisted on accompanying them. Jasper didn't want Alice anywhere near the violence, but we had all argued him down. There was no denying that her gift would be immensely useful to them in avoiding danger. And Emmett knew better than to go against Rosalie's stubbornness.

They had been in Seattle for almost a week, and I hadn't heard much. The only thing keeping me from a full-blown panic were the nightly texts from Alice. They were always along the same lines: "We're okay. Edward's the same. Talk soon." That wasn't nearly enough information for me, or Esme, and we were about to go crazy and go after them anyway.

So I couldn't answer the phone fast enough when Jasper finally decided to call.

"We're coming back there," Jasper said. "I hate saying this, but I hope Seattle is their base. If not...if not, I don't want to think about state of the rest of the West Coast."

"How do you know that's their base?" I asked, panic on the rise.

"They're everywhere, Carlisle! They're barely bothering to conceal themselves, or their kills. The local newspapers say it's gang warfare. A group of about five of them killed a couple across the street from our hotel one night, in plain sight-dragged them into an alley and began loudly fighting over them."

"Have you been seen?"

"No, we've been careful. Alice has been a big help. There are so many of them, they probably wouldn't be surprised if they ran across some unfamiliar scents. They  _can't_ all know each other. But we all agree we've learned all we can at the moment, and we'd be endangering ourselves to stay longer."

"Stay safe, all of you. We'll talk more when you arrive. See you soon." It took only a couple of hours to drive north from Seattle to Abbotsford, where Esme and I were. I was grateful for the short distance.

But as I contemplated what my son had told me, I decided that we would have to move, and soon. Perhaps to Siberia. I did not want to be anywhere near the carnage. And I did not wish to have a visit from the Volturi. They would surely be intervening soon. I was surprised they hadn't already.

I did not wish for them to learn of Edward and his depression. I was sure they'd twist him, in his despair, to try a new way of life with them, one which I knew he'd never escape. And I still did not fully trust him to not try to take his own life, if given the opportunity.

I sighed, looking up at the high ceiling of the empty foyer. The house was so empty. And while most of my children would be returning soon, I missed two of them beyond words. One, I knew I would never get back. And the other, my son, I feared would never truly return, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I couldn't find the actual weather forecast for Denali Park on that date, but from what I could find, apparently it doesn't actually snow much in Alaska in March. But I loved the opening image so much I just couldn't bear to scrap it. Anyway, there you go: A nice long freebie chapter, and the beginnings of a plot!
> 
> On that note, I'm afraid I have some disappointing news: At the moment, I don't plan on continuing to post updates on Wednesdays. For those who don't know, I am in college, and so far, school has been a little more demanding than I was anticipating. Wednesdays tend to be my busy days. In addition, we are rapidly getting to one of the breaks in the story. I'm trying to fill in the blanks at every free moment, but the fact is, I need as much time as possible.
> 
> So yeah, no more updates on Wednesdays, at least for a while, I'm afraid. Sorry! I do plan on continuing updating on Mondays and Fridays still. Thanks for understanding. Love you guys!


	6. Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I marked this story as T for a reason. I know most people probably won't care, but for those that do: There is one swear word that I consider minor, and some physical violence in this chapter in Bella's POV. All in all, it's very quick and minimal, not nearly enough to have a higher rating. I just thought it better to be safe than sorry and post a reminder of the rating before anyone gets offended. Thanks!
> 
> Song: Switchblade-by Phildel

_BPOV_

I sighed as I brought the dead elk to my lips. I had finally shaken Garrett, and managed to find a herd. But his words still echoed in my head. It was days like these, when he was in a teasing mood, that he unknowingly helped to make me feel like a freak.

It hadn't taken me long to realize that I had a perfect memory...at least starting from the moment I'd awoken during my transition. I thought back on our first meeting, and I remembered that he really was kind...he just didn't know how much his teasing hurt me sometimes.

I was on my own for a couple of years after my transition. I had been very bored most of the time, not to mention lonely. I didn't dare to go near human towns, though. I had no idea where Forks or home might be, so I just tended to stay as far north as I could, finding out soon that those areas were less populated. If I stuck to less populated areas, I was less likely to run into danger, I figured.

But run into danger I did. It was on Baffin Island, Nunavut. It was a pretty big island, rather sparsely populated for its size. I had come for the caribou.

I had just drained my second when I suddenly smelled something... _wonderful_. It was sweet- _so sweet._  It was still a long way off, though. Unthinking, I ran towards it.

What I came across surprised me. A man whose skin was shimmering like mine in the sunlight was crouched over a human man's body, draining him dry. The scent was all but forgotten as I stepped forward hesitantly, unsure of what to do.

I broke a twig as I stepped forward, and the vampire's head snapped up. A ferocious snarl ripped through his throat, and I took several steps back. He resumed his meal.

Then, suddenly, we heard a man's voice calling from a distance. "Roy? You finished with that piss yet?"

The vampire finished his drink, and in a flash was in my face. "My kill," he snarled. And then he attacked. In a flash, my arms were off. He threw them away, and pushed me to the ground.

I'm sure he would have kept going, perhaps completely taken me apart, maybe even burned me, if someone hadn't heard my scream.

Somehow, out of nowhere, a very tall sparkling man leapt over me, landing in a crouch between me and my aggressor. He forced the other vampire away. "Coward!" he bellowed. "Maybe you'd like to take on someone closer to your size!"

The other vampire growled, and made a swipe at him. He was smaller, but he was clearly in bloodlust, and nothing would discourage him from protecting his kill.

After a brief fight, my attacker lay in pieces at the taller vampire's feet. He turned to me then, towering over me. I started to cry, in fear and pain, as we locked eyes. What was about to happen to me?

My rescuer's face softened considerably. He knelt down before me.

"It's okay," he said kindly. "I won't hurt you. My name's Garrett. What's yours?"

"B-Bella," I whimpered.

"How pretty," he said lightly. "I'm going to go get your arms now, Bella. And then I'm going to help you put them back on."

"Put them back on?" I asked, as, in a flash he reappeared with my arms, still wearing the sleeves of my shirt.

He looked at me quizzically. "Yes, put them back on," he said. "Don't tell me your creator didn't give you the basic rules."

I looked down. "I don't know who created me," I said quietly. I could feel Garrett's pitying stare. "Would you hurry, please?" I asked, a little testily. "It hurts."

"Of course," he said.

Before I knew it, he had my arms back on. "Thank you," I sighed, as the pain faded away and they began to tingle.

"You're welcome," he said kindly. "You might want to take it easy for a little while. Would you like me to bring you something?"

"Yes, please," I sighed, without thinking. I opened my eyes to see that Garrett had brought back Roy's hiking companion with a broken neck.

I gasped in horror, scrambling back. "I didn't mean  _that_!" I shrieked. The blank look on the hiker's face was making my stomach turn.

Garrett was genuinely confused. "What  _did_  you mean?" he asked. I just shook my head. "Well, if you're not going to drink it, may I?" I shrugged, and he proceeded to drink the hiker dry.

After disposing of the hikers' bodies and spreading out the hostile nomad's parts out of my sight-"He'll be fine; he'll probably reassemble himself in a couple of days. You'll be long gone by then,"-Garrett sat with me while I calmed down. After a while, I managed to explain to him that I didn't drink human blood-only blood from animals.

He didn't believe me at first. "Show me!" he said excitedly. I was feeling better by that time, so I got up and before too long, found another herd of caribou. He followed me and watched, fascinated, as I took down one of them and drained it.

"Amazing," he breathed. "And how odd. Perhaps that explains your eyes."

"Would you like to try it?" I asked hopefully.

His nose wrinkled as he neared the corpse of my caribou. "No thanks," he said.

"Oh. Okay," I said, looking down. It looked like we were about to go our separate ways. I would be alone again. I would be on my guard this time, but I wasn't looking forward to the empty feeling in my chest strengthening about a hundredfold after he left.

I could feel him studying my face. "Why don't we travel together for a while?" he finally asked. "I won't make you drink from humans if you don't make me drink from animals."

I looked back up, accepting his offer gratefully. I had begun to realize that forever was a long time to be alone. We had mostly been travelling together ever since.

I sighed, coming back to the present, realizing I still held the now-cold elk in my hands. I shoved it away in disgust. I wasn't sure who or what the disgust was directed at. Probably at myself. It was days like this when I felt more alone than I had before.

I kept telling Garrett that there were other vampires like me, possibly going by the name of Cullen. He never believed me. He was probably still sticking with me because I was an oddity. Or because he pitied me.

I bowed my head in my hands. Maybe Jake had lied to me. Why hadn't I thought to ask more questions? It simply hadn't occurred to me at the time. I shook my head. Sometimes, I believed my companion. I wondered what was wrong with me. I was beginning to think I was crazy.

It was days like this when I wondered if it would really be so bad to drink human blood.

I shook my head again. Jake hadn't struck me as being the lying type. No, they were out there somewhere. I just had to find them. Maybe then...maybe then I would be happy.

My mind wandered to my favorite topic when I felt lonely: My mate. Did I have one? I wondered where he might be.

It wasn't Garrett, I was sure about that. While I was mostly grateful for his companionship, I didn't feel that way for him. And I was sure he didn't feel that way for me. We were just friends.

I wondered if I'd had a boyfriend when I was a human. I thought about him sometimes. I wondered if he was nice, if I'd really liked him. I wondered if he missed me, if he wondered what had happened to me. I sometimes idly thought about finding Forks and tracking him down, maybe changing him myself. I'd never followed through, of course.

As I came out of my daydreams, I realized that someone was coming towards me. I sniffed the air. Another vampire. Not one I recognized. I rose and turned to head back towards where I had left Garrett.

But then I sniffed again. The smell  _was_ vaguely familiar. It was...very nice. Maybe...this vampire would be nice. Maybe he was even one of the Cullens! Perhaps my mate? No, those were both unlikely. I was getting carried away. But I would never know if I didn't find out now. I couldn't live in fear for eternity because of one bad experience.

So before I could talk myself out of it, I began to run towards the strange vampire.

* * *

_JasPOV_

"It's decided, then," Carlisle said. "We're moving to Iceland. We've never been there before, as a family. It'll be an adventure, right?" He smiled half-heartedly. We all remained looking glumly at the floor.

We had just finished giving him and Esme the rundown on what we knew, which wasn't much, really. We were just thankful to be moving away from the bloodshed.

I checked my phone idly, not really expecting to see a new text or missed call. I jumped when I saw the date. I winced. So that was why everyone was so down.

I would have been sad myself without their influence today. I had been thinking about Bella without realizing what day it was. Like the others, I missed her a lot sometimes.

I was aware of Edward's feelings about us and our mourning process. He didn't seem to realize that mourning didn't look the same on everybody. We were all still grieving in our own ways, and it didn't have to make sense. In fact, it was natural for people experiencing loss to be angry, to look for someone to blame. Edward might know everyone's thoughts, but I knew their feelings. And I was sure that whatever we'd thought to make him leave, no one had meant it. Everyone was definitely still grieving. Not Edward-level grieving, but grieving. And on days like today, I wondered if we would ever truly be able to move on.

As Carlisle droned on, trying to fill the empty silence with plans, I tightened my arms around Alice. She had been especially sad today. She seemed to be on the verge of crying right now. I had never liked altering her emotions, but that had partially been because she was always so buoyant and optimistic anyway. She had always been my little beacon of hope. But she had taken me aside after her vision of Bella's death, and asked me to respect her grief. I was doing my best. But sometimes, it was just so hard to not try to make her smile...

Suddenly, she gasped and stiffened in my arms. I looked over at her, and sure enough, her eyes were wide, unseeing. She was having a vision.

Carlisle stopped talking, and we all stared at her. I began to grow confused as her emotions began to vary wildly for the first time in years. She was confused too, but mostly, for the first time in a long time...happy. What was she seeing?

She slid out of my arms, off the couch, and hit her knees. As the vision finished, a delirious smile lit up her face, and she turned to me. "Jasper, where's my phone?" she asked quickly. "I need to call Edward in exactly two minutes."

Unaware of her emotions, Carlisle merely focused on her words. He grabbed her shoulders frantically. "What about Edward, Alice? What did you see? What's he planning?"

"He's not planning anything," she laughed.

"What's going to happen to him, then?" Esme chimed in. She was growing frantic, too.

I gestured for them to calm down. "I don't think you understand," I told them gently.

"I was wrong. She's alive," Alice finally said. The room went silent. Everyone stopped breathing. "Bella's alive, and she's one of us, and Edward's going to run into her in exactly forty-five seconds."

Everyone started talking at once as Alice silently picked up my cellphone and started scrolling through my short contact list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know that in canon, Carlisle and Garrett know each other. But this is an alternate universe. :)


	7. Reunion, Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This chapter contains dialogue quoted from the movie, New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Song: Hoppípolla-by Sigur Rós. Literally, "Hopping into Puddles." It's beautiful and ethereal and hopeful and perfect. But if you don't happen to speak Icelandic, I highly suggest also looking up the English cover by The Royalrey on YouTube.

_EPOV_

I was pretty sure I was in Canada by now. I had run for a long time. I'd found a herd of elk and had just drained my third. I sighed. Sometimes I tried to hold back when I went hunting alone, but today, I just couldn't help it. I was very thirsty, and angry, and sad, and confused.

As I sniffed the air, trying to get the trail of where the rest of the elk had fled, I smelled something quite different.

 _Bella?_  I automatically turned toward the scent, thinking her name for the first time in six years. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. I turned away. It wasn't her. My love was dead.

But the wind blew in my face again, and I inhaled deeper. Freesia and strawberries. Could it be?

I was gasping now, taking in big gulps of the scent before the wind changed. It was terribly, achingly familiar, yet it wasn't making me thirsty. Whoever the scent belonged to, it was a vampire.  _Could it be?_

Before I had time to process any other thought, before I could fully realize that this was stupid, and dangerous, and I would probably fall deeper into despair when it turned out not to be her-before I could reason with myself and think all that out fully, I was off. I was after the scent. I had to see who it belonged to. I would regret it forever if I didn't.

It didn't take long for the scent to grow very strong. The stronger it got, the more hopeful I felt. I closed my eyes, letting visions of Bella fly through my mind. They weren't all pleasant, but it didn't matter if she was, somehow, here. It didn't matter, nothing would matter, it would all be all right.

I only opened my eyes when I heard a shriek right in front of me. I skidded to a halt, but it was too late. I collided, nearly at full speed, with the vampire whose scent I had been tracking. Apparently, she had been tracking me, too.

There was a sound like thunder. The collision knocked us both back several yards. I was lying flat on my back on the ground, staring up at the sky. I scrambled to my feet. I couldn't hear her thoughts. I had to see her, had to see her face, if it was-

It was.

I ignored my suddenly shrill, ringing cellphone. It wasn't hard. I hit my knees. Our surroundings melted away. There she stood: My Bella. It was undoubtedly her. And she was different, yet the same.

She was like me. That was undeniable. First, she did not look a day over eighteen. (Well, maybe eighteen-and-a-half.) She would be twenty-four this year. But she wasn't. She was eighteen. She was like me.

Second, her eyes: Her eyes were now the same color as mine: Golden. Not the brown I had known and loved-a stark yellow. I knew what this meant, and I was pleasantly surprised and unimaginably proud of her.

And third, she was...different. Her skin was even paler, the same shade as mine. Her heart-shaped face was still there, the slightly fuller bottom lip, the big eyes and straight nose. And yet she was different. Not a bad different, just...different. Slightly. Less frail, I decided. That, of course, was a good thing.

But the best thing was that she was alive. She was  _alive_. And she was here. Here with me, right in front of me. Unless...unless I was hallucinating again...But this was unlike any hallucination I had ever experienced before.

 _"Bella,"_  I breathed.

We had not torn our eyes away from each other since they'd first met. She was crouching slightly. She looked slightly frightened and wary, like so many of the deer I'd hunted, when they'd first sensed me nearby. I couldn't imagine what was going through her mind. That had not changed, and I wasn't sure whether I was relieved or disappointed. Maybe both.

But when I said her name, she straightened slightly and tilted her head. "Yes?" she said. Her voice was like bells. How serendipitous.

"You're here," I choked.

She was looking increasingly confused. I barely noticed. "I'm here," she said politely.

"You're alive," I breathed. I finally allowed myself to smile.

And then she said the words that cracked my newly-healed stone heart in two.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding unsure of herself. "Have we met?"

* * *

_BPOV_

I wasn't sure of the boy I'd run headlong into, nearly cracking us both in half. He looked like a boy; he couldn't be much older than me.

He was handsome, I decided quickly, and...vaguely familiar. I didn't need to scan my perfect vampire memory to realize that I must have known him when I was human. Had we both been human? Or had I been friends with a vampire while I was human? Either way, how strange, I thought.

I didn't even know if we were friends or enemies. I hoped we were friends. But better safe than sorry. I crouched slightly, trying to keep my expression neutral. I didn't want to set him off, if he was dangerous. He looked wiry, but I was small. It would be a fairly even fight, if it came to that, I thought.

But it didn't.

He looked utterly shocked to see me. His mouth fell open, and his eyes bored into mine. He was the only other vampire I'd ever seen with yellow eyes. He shared my diet, if Garrett's theory was correct. Amazing! Had I been right?  _Could_  he be one of the fabled Cullens?

He fell to his knees. I heard a shrill ring. I saw the outline of something I guessed was a cellphone in his pants pocket. He didn't answer it. I was starting to be concerned for him, and then, sure enough:

_"Bella."_

He knew my name. We  _had_  known each other. And if he hadn't made a move to attack me yet, I felt that we must have been friends. I relaxed my stance slightly.

"Yes?" I said. I didn't know what else to say.

"You're here."

I was starting to be deeply worried for him. Had he lost his mind, or was he just that surprised? Could vampires even lose their minds? I felt like I had, sometimes...

"I'm here," I agreed. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him, partially out of concern for his safety and mine. Partially, I just didn't want to see him upset.

"You're alive." And then he broke into a cautious smile that was achingly familiar, a crooked almost-full grin. I felt my knees go a little weak at it.

There was no way around it. How could I break it to him gently that I didn't remember him? He certainly remembered me. Maybe we had just been passing acquaintances, I hoped feebly.

"I'm sorry," I said, as politely as I could. "Have we met?"

His face crumpled, and I felt my stone heart sink. I was sure his was doing the same.

* * *

_EPOV_

My fragile, newly-rebuilt world came crashing down. She didn't remember me. Human memories did fade, I reminded myself. Or was she just pretending, a flimsy excuse to make me walk away from her again? If that was true, was she angry? Or had she truly moved on? Was there someone else in her life? My mind was racing with the possibilities.

Numbly, I became aware again of my cellphone, buzzing wildly in my pocket. "Excuse me, for just a moment. Please don't leave," I said to Bella. I hated to interrupt our reunion, but maybe Alice could shed some light on the situation. Who else could be calling me at a moment like this?

Not daring to take my eyes off Bella, I pulled out my phone and answered it. "Alice?" I said.

"She doesn't remember you," Alice's voice said, speaking at a mile a minute. "I don't know how it happened, who did it or why. How could I have been so wrong?"

I just shook my head, taking Bella in. She was staring at me cautiously again, no doubt listening to every word Alice was saying. She knew we knew her, and I hoped she knew we were friends. We were friends, weren't we? Oh, but how could she consider me a friend after what I'd done to her, what I'd put her through! Had she really jumped off a cliff in her grief? Or had Alice been wrong about that too? It was so strange. I couldn't remember a time Alice had been wrong. But this was big enough to mess up her average for a long time.

"Listen, Edward, you have to bring her home. We have to sit down and talk about this. We have to figure out-oh!" Bella's eyes went wide at the word, "home," and a split-second later, she was gone.

"Bella!" I yelled. I dropped the phone and took off after her.

Had she been a newborn, she would have been faster than me, and I had no doubt I would have lost her again, possibly forever. But luckily, she wasn't, and I was still one of the fastest vampires in existence. I caught up to her shortly.

I kept pace with her for a while, but she kept shooting glances at me with those big, frightened eyes, and trying to run faster. I wanted to just keep up with her and wait for her to calm down, but the longer we ran, the more I realized that for some reason, her fear was animal, primal.

We were nearing a hiking trail. I could hear people's thoughts from a distance. We had to stop soon, or there was the chance we would be spotted. I realized what I had to do, and I didn't like it.

"I'm sorry," I called to her. She had time to glance at me again, baffled, before I launched myself at her.

I drew my arms around her and brought her down like a deer I was hunting, but I did it as gently as I could. I knew that she was a vampire now, nearly indestructible and not easy to kill, let alone hurt, but I couldn't help wincing as I did it. She wasn't an animal, she wasn't a bit of prey. She was a woman, the woman I loved, my Bella, and I wouldn't have stopped her against her will unless it was absolutely necessary.

I rolled in the air so I was the one who hit the ground. It knocked the wind out of me, but that was of little consequence.

I'd caught her so her back was to me, but I could tell from the way she was hissing that she was unhappy with me.

I was distressed about that. But though I would never admit it, I, personally, was ecstatic. I was touching her for the first time in nearly six-and-a-half years, and thrills of electricity were coursing through my body. She was really  _here_. She was really alive. She was really with me. If only she remembered me. If only she could forgive me. If only she could be happy, too. Then things would be perfect.

But they weren't, not yet.

"Let me go," she spat.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I can't," I said. "I tried that once, and things weren't right for a long time. They still aren't."

"What are you talking about?"

I sighed. It seemed like she really didn't remember.

"Please, Bella. I understand you're angry. But please, come home with me and we'll figure this out."

She started to tremble in my arms, and she didn't speak. She must have been livid-understandably so. I worked up the nerve to spin her around in my arms and look at her face.

I was wrong. She wasn't angry, she was scared. Terrified. Her lips were parted and her eyes were wide. "Bella?"

No response. I shook her gently. "Bella?"

"I-can't-go-home," she finally got out. Was she having a panic attack? Could vampires have panic attacks?

"What?" I said.

"I-can't-go home," she whispered. She was trembling so hard and fast she was vibrating. "Jake-said-"

"What?" Jake who? Was this my replacement? I thought about killing him.

She swallowed the venom the panic had caused to pool in her mouth. "Jake said-they would kill me-"

Jake? As in, Jacob? Jacob Black? Her Quileute friend? Whatever the case, this settled it. Whoever this Jake was, I would kill him.

"-if I-went home."

She managed a deep breath and buried her face in my chest. "Idon'twannadie, Idon'twannadie, Idon'twannadie..." She kept going like that.

I just held her. I held her tight and rocked her and made unhelpful shushing noises, but it was all I knew how to do. She wasn't going to hear me until she calmed down.

Eventually, the panic passed. She stopped vibrating and then went silent. I stopped rocking and stopped the shushing noises. I pushed her away from me so I could look into her eyes.

"Bella," I said calmly, "it's okay. I won't make you go home."

She breathed a sigh of relief, almost collapsing back onto me. "Thank you," she breathed.

"My family will come here."

She was on her feet a yard away from me, wary. "Who said I wanted to talk to them?" she said. "I don't even know who you are!"

I sat up, making certain to keep a calm demeanor. "Bella," I said patiently. "You may not know us, but we know you. We knew you when you were human." She tilted her head, intrigued. "We mean you no harm. If I had wanted to harm you, I could easily have done it a few minutes ago." She looked down, embarrassed. Her embarrassment could not compare to my shame. She didn't realize that I  _had_ caused her harm, but that had been the last thing I had intended. "I just thought we could give each other some much needed answers, that's all."

She didn't have to think long. "Okay," she said. "Okay."

I smiled and got up. I gestured for her to follow me, and she did, to my delight. We ran back to where I had dropped the phone. I could hear it ringing, but once I found it, I picked it up and put it on silent. They could make the travel arrangements without my input. Alice would have seen what I told Bella.

Wouldn't she? Her blind spot concerning Bella seemed to be gone now. Hmm. I would call her when we got back, just to make sure.

I started to head back to the compound, Bella not far behind me. I looked back at her. She was perfect. She had been perfect before, but she was perfect now, too. She was just a different kind of perfect.

She looked down shyly when she noticed my gaze, just like she always did, but something was missing. I realized, sadly, that I could not make her blush anymore. I shook my head. It was a small price to pay to have her here with me. I slowed down, so we were at an even pace. Did I dare?

I held out my hand to her. She looked at it deliberately for a long time, and then took it.

My heart soared. Everything was going to be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really, really nervous about putting this chapter up. I hope it lived up to expectations. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment and alleviating my anxiety! Constructive criticism is also welcome, of course. :)


	8. Meeting the Extended Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: No One's Gonna Love You-by Band of Horses

_BPOV_

"I've been staying with friends of the family," Edward was saying to me. I was able to focus on what he was saying as well as the sensation of my hand within his. I could practically  _feel_ the sparks flying between us. I had never felt anything like this before. What did this mean? Were we mates? Whatever it meant, I was enjoying it.

Edward was still talking. "Well, to be more accurate, they're sort of extended family. I normally live with my parents and siblings. They're the ones who will be coming here to talk to you. But right now, we're heading toward our cousins' home."

"Were they your cousins when you were human?" I asked. The thought of a vampire having something he called "family" seemed strange and foreign to me, but I was trying to be polite and not ask too many questions.

He laughed gently. "No. Some of them are almost a thousand years older than me. None of us are related by blood, as it were. We call them 'cousins' because we don't normally live together, but they share our diet."

"Oh," I said. "How many family members do you have?"

"My father and mother, two brothers, two sisters, and six cousins," he said.

I froze in my tracks, pulling Edward to a stop. I'd never been around so many vampires!

I hated to admit that I was afraid, especially after my little breakdown earlier. But I  _was_  afraid. I still vividly remembered the pain of having my arms ripped off, and the helplessness that I'd felt as I'd been pushed to the ground...I wasn't sure whether the pain or helplessness was worse.

Edward was looking into my face, probably trying to figure out what I was thinking. "Bella? What's wrong?"

I decided it would probably be best to be honest with him. "I've...never been around so many vampires before. I'm...well, I'm scared."

Edward looked concerned. "Bella, I don't know anything about the past six-and-a-half years of your life. Has anyone...ever hurt you?"

In response, I took off my jacket and pulled up the sleeves of my T-shirt, revealing the joints of my shoulders. Edward inhaled sharply as he saw the paper-thin lines where my arms had been severed. I looked down.

"Bella," he said seriously. He laid a finger underneath my chin, gently pushing my face up so that I looked into his earnest eyes. "I'm about to tell you some very important things. First: My immediate family loves you. They adore you. Trust me, they will be overjoyed to see you again. Second: My extended family has never met you, but they will love you too. I'm sure of it. Third: We will never allow anyone to hurt you again."

I took a few deep breaths as I looked into Edward's eyes. I trusted him. So I nodded and picked up my jacket. He continued to lead me.

We ran for quite a long time, but I never questioned where he was taking me. Finally, a somewhat large building came into sight. We slowed as we approached. As we neared, a group of six vampires exited the house, coming toward us. I overcame the urge to pull Edward to a stop again.

There were three fair females who all looked very much alike, a male and female with similar olive-toned skin, and a dark-skinned male with dreadlocks. He froze in place by the door upon seeing us, looking suddenly like he was deep in concentration.

The strawberry blonde and the olive-skinned women outpaced the others, coming directly toward us. The strawberry blonde one kept stopping and starting toward us, looking unsure of herself, but the other woman kept coming until she was right in front of us. She enveloped Edward in a hug, and he returned it with his free arm. So far, he was refusing to drop my hand. I was happy about that.

"We were so worried!" she cried. She spoke with an accent, slightly rolling her  _r_ 's. "Alice didn't call us, so we knew nothing bad had happened. You were gone so long we were about to go out and look for you anyway! But it looks like you were just getting acquainted with a neighbor. Who's this lovely thing?" she asked, stepping out of Edward's half-hug and turning to me.

But Edward wanted to introduce everyone to me, first.

"This is Carmen," he said, gesturing to the woman before us. He then gestured to the strawberry blonde one, who was drawing near us now with a hesitant smile on her face. "That's Tanya." He pointed to one blonde woman, then the other. "That's Kate, and Irina." He pointed to the olive-skinned male. "Carmen's mate, Eleazar, and..." He frowned slightly at his last cousin, as if he was trying to figure out what he was thinking. "Irina's mate, Laurent."

The frown was forgotten in an instant as he turned to me, drawing himself up proudly. "Everyone...this is Bella."

I smiled at them shyly, but they all froze. None of them looked like they knew what to say, and I didn't either.

"I'm not crazy," Edward said abruptly, turning to frown at them all. "I didn't just find an amnesiac vampire in the wilderness who happened to answer to the same name and project Bella onto her.  _This is Bella._  I'd know her anywhere. And my family can confirm who she is. Alice knows, and they're coming to see her."

"Amnesiac?" Kate asked, eyeing me worriedly.

"He's right," I shrugged. "I don't remember anything clearly until about six-and-a-half years ago, when I woke up like this."

"You don't remember  _anything_  from your human years?" Eleazar asked, looking concerned. "You don't...remember Edward?"

"As much as I hate to admit it, no," I said sadly.

They were all looking very concerned now. Meeting the family wasn't going as well as I'd hoped...

"Bella," the one called Laurent finally said. He was before us in a flash. "Of course. It's been some time. How wonderful to see you whole." He picked up my free hand and kissed it.

"That's right," Irina said. "You're the only one of us who met her-briefly, when that tracker was after her. So...this  _is_  Bella?" she finished hesitantly.

"Yes, of course, dearest," Laurent said. "She was human then, as you said, but it is undoubtedly the same girl. It just took me a few moments to see the similarities."

Edward was squinting at Laurent suspiciously, as though he thought he was hiding something. As he opened his mouth to say something, Tanya suddenly stepped forward and threw her arms around me.

"Bella," she said quietly. "How wonderful. I can't begin to tell you how much Edward has missed you."

Tanya led Edward and me into the building, the rest following behind. "Welcome to our home," she said, throwing open the doors. I looked around curiously. I had never been in a building before. At least, not that I could remember.

The floors were hardwood, and the walls were made of stone and wood. As Tanya led us into the living room, I was surprised to see that they even had furniture-a few large, comfortable-looking leather couches. But what use was comfort to a vampire?

Tanya turned abruptly back to Edward and me. "You're pretty close in size to all of us women, I think," she said thoughtfully, looking me up and down. "Of course you need your own wardrobe, but I don't dare take you shopping until Alice gets here; she would have my head." The vampires surrounding us laughed. Even Edward cracked a smile. "But if Alice has seen you, she's seen the state of your clothes. And I'm sure she wouldn't begrudge us a little fashion show." She picked up my hand and tugged, but neither Edward nor I moved. I was loath to leave his side, and Edward appeared to feel the same way.

Tanya turned back to us, looking at Edward meaningfully. They seemed to be having a silent conversation. After a few moments, Edward released my hand with a sigh. "Go on," he said with a reluctant-seeming smile. "I'm sure it's been a while since you've been properly fussed over."

I bit my lip. That was true. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been pampered. And I couldn't help but feel terribly shabby in my worn clothes next to the gorgeous, well-groomed Denali women. But still...

Seeing my hesitation, Edward leaned in close to my ear, and whispered, "I'll be here. Don't be afraid to let me know if you need rescuing."

I couldn't help but smile as he dodged Tanya's playful swat. This time, she succeeded in leading me upstairs, followed by her sisters.

The Denali women first insisted that I take a nice, long bath. While vampires didn't have sweat glands and didn't need to shower or bathe regularly, our skin did get dirty. And considering the only water I had touched in six years had been natural bodies of water-which apparently didn't count-they considered me to be in pretty rough shape.

I had to admit, the bath did feel nice. I stayed in long enough for the water to grow as cold my frigid skin. Kate had to pound on the door to get me to come out. The rest of them were eager to start the "fashion show," as they kept putting it.

Kate led me into Tanya's room, where I found the rest of the women chatting about which color would go best with my hair. They had mostly laid out Carmen's wardrobe on the bed, with a few selections from Tanya's, Kate's, and Irina's closets. They'd decided that her wardrobe would be the most flattering on me. I was disappointed to see that they'd seemed to pick out the most impractical items they owned.

Carmen in particular clucked over me like a mother hen, and her sisters weren't much better. For some reason, I thought I would hate all the attention. And while I wasn't used to it, I found that I did somewhat enjoy it.

"Oh, Bella, green is your color," Irina cooed, as I emerged from the walk-in closet wearing the ninth dress I'd tried on, Carmen's emerald-colored cocktail one.

"Where on earth would I wear this?" I laughed, looking down at myself.

"For your reunion with the Cullens, of course," Kate said. "Alice would skin us alive if she saw you wearing anything less than the best."

"Well, not that playing dress-up isn't fun," I said. "But I think I'd feel more comfortable if I wore something a little more...day-to-day."

The sisters all looked at each other.

"Sorry about all this," Tanya finally said sheepishly, gesturing to the bed, which was storing all of the dresses and strappy heels that I had left to try on. "I guess we just got carried away." As she talked, she casually moved past me into the closet. "We were just so excited. We've wanted to meet you ever since we first heard about you, but then that terrible-"

"Isn't that your denim drawer?" Carmen hissed, interrupting Tanya as her fingers twitched toward one of her dressers.

"I don't know what you mean," Tanya said innocently.

"No jeans!" Irina agreed. "Alice would never stand for it."

 _Sorry. I tried,_  Tanya mouthed to me. I smiled reassuringly at her, but I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at whoever this Alice was. Who did she think she was, that she had a say in how I dressed?

Edward did end up coming to the rescue right then, however.

"I'm on the phone with Carlisle," Edward said from the kitchen. "He says Alice says she's not bossy, Bella, really, and you can wear jeans if you want to."

I hadn't been paying much attention to Edward's phone conversation until then, but I could have sworn I heard a high-pitched voice faintly yell, "Just this once!" on the other end of the line. I couldn't help but chuckle.

In the end, I decided I did like the feeling of dresses on my skin better than the scratchy denim, and we compromised between formal and casual. Kate picked a soft cotton dress of hers that was a beautiful azure. The neckline gently scooped to reveal my collarbones. Its sleeves went over the shoulders, and had ruching across the bust that gathered into a high banded waistline. It cascaded softly from the waist, gently accentuating my hips, ending just above my knees.

As I emerged from the closet, all the women gasped. They all murmured their agreement that this outfit was the one. Tanya, smiling, led me to the top of the stairs and gestured for me to descend. I knew her intention; she wanted Edward to see me like this.

All of a sudden, my nerves felt like frayed wires. This suddenly seemed like one of the most important things I had ever done. "I can't-" I whispered.

Tanya cut me off. "Of course you can!" she whispered back. "You're beautiful, Bella. Knock his stuffy blazer off!" She smiled encouragingly at me and gave my shoulder a gentle shove.

I took a deep breath, and slowly began to descend the stairs. The nude heels I was wearing easily allowed me to navigate the slightly steep steps. I didn't hear Edward in the kitchen anymore. I went straight down the hall, toward the double living room doors, where I could hear a conversation.

"You haven't told her yet?" Eleazar was saying.

"There's quite a bit that I haven't told her," Edward said. "I don't know where to start."

"Well, start somewhere!" Eleazar said firmly. "She needs to know!"

"I don't want to overwhelm her," Edward said.

A little annoyed that they were talking about me, I decided to make my presence known. I opened the doors and stepped inside the living room. "What would I be overwhelmed with?" I asked.

Upon my entrance, Eleazar gave me a warm smile. Edward looked to be at a loss for words.

"Bella...you-wow!" he said.

I smiled and ducked my head to look at the floor, my annoyance forgotten. I didn't think the change in my appearance was that drastic, though I had to admit that my hair was silkier and shinier than I could ever remember seeing it.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Eleazar assured me. "Come, sit with us. There are some things you should know."

I swallowed nervously and stepped further into the room. I noticed that Edward immediately sat on a loveseat, and was eyeing me hopefully. Eleazar was left to an armchair across from him. I took Edward's unspoken invitation and sat next to him.

"Have you ever heard anything about vampires possessing supernatural talents, Bella?" Eleazar asked me gently.

I stared at him, baffled. "What-like our strength and speed? Stuff like that?"  
"Not exactly," Eleazar said, shaking his head. "As far as we know, every vampire possesses those abilities. But some vampires are special. Some have...extra gifts. For example..." He gestured to Edward.

Edward took a deep breath. "I can read people's thoughts," he said.

I jumped up from the couch, looking between the two of them. "You-what!" I cried. He'd been reading my thoughts this whole time, and hadn't thought to tell me? "Prove it," I said. "What am I thinking about right now?" I wasn't sure why I thought it was a good idea to invite him further into my mind. But maybe this whole thing was an elaborate joke.

Edward looked sad. "I can't, Bella," he said. "Because I can't read  _your_ mind. It's funny...yours is the only mind I've ever been unable to hear."  
"Because you see, Bella," Eleazar said calmly, gesturing for me to sit down again. "You have a talent of your own." After a few deep breaths, I sat down again. "It seems you have a mental shield."  
I quirked an eyebrow. I was skeptical. "It  _seems_  I have a mental shield?" I repeated.

"Yes," Eleazar confirmed, unfazed. "It's unlike any talent I've ever come across. Oh," he said, noticing the confused look on my face, "I have a talent, too. I am able to identify the gifts of other vampires."

"Oh," I said. "How does that work?"

"I've never been very sure, to be honest," Eleazar said. "How do any of our talents work? No one seems to know for sure. The going theory is that we had the potential for a talent in our human lives...some trait that was enhanced after we changed. But you seem different, even in that regard. Edward tells me that he could never hear your thoughts, even when he knew you as a human. That suggests that your gift now is incredibly powerful."  
" _Suggests?_ Can't you tell?" I asked.

"No," Eleazar said, shaking his head. "Your gift is blocking out even me. I can sort of tell there's something there, like a glass wall or something. But I can't get past it to get a close look at the details. I'm sorry," he said.

"Then...then how can you be sure?" I asked. "I'm not trying to be rude, but...how do you know I'm talented, and not just dense or something?"  
Edward and Eleazar began to laugh. "You're not  _dense_ , Bella," Edward said.

"Well, there's one way to find out. Kate?" Eleazar called. "Can you come here?"

The grin was wiped from Edward's face. "No!" he said, leaping up just as Kate appeared in the living room.

"Yes?" she said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

"Kate has a talent, as well," Eleazar explained to me. "Psychic electrokinesis."

"Absolutely not!" Edward was still protesting.

I frowned. "Okay," I said. "I think I know what that means. But please explain, just in case I don't."

"There'll be no explaining!" Edward said, striding between Kate and me to face her. "Don't even think about it, either of you!"

"I think it'd be easier just to demonstrate," Eleazar said.

"Are you crazy?" Edward hissed. "I'm not going to allow you to shock her just to prove your theory!"

" _Shock_  me?" I repeated.

"If we're right-and I'm fairly certain we are-you should feel nothing, since, as far as I can tell, Kate's power is purely a mental illusion," Eleazar said, unperturbed by Edward's outcries.

"And...if you're wrong?" I asked, swallowing nervously.

"I'll start on my lowest setting," Katie volunteered. "If you feel anything right away, we'll stop, of course."

"Okay," I said.

"What?" Edward cried, whirling to face me. "Bella, no! Absolutely not, you can't-"

"I can't  _what_?" I challenged, suddenly peeved at him. "I want to see if what Eleazar thinks is true. This is the easiest way to find out. And last time I checked,  _I_ get the final say in what happens to me, thanks."

Edward looked as if I had struck him, but I was surprised to find that I didn't feel that bad.

"Okay, Kate," I said, stepping around Edward towards her. "Go ahead."

"Sure thing," she said, a grim smile on her face. Edward winced as she reached out towards me. She briefly tapped my bare arm. "Anything?" she asked.

"Not a thing," I said, shaking my head.

"Okay. If you're all right with it, I'm going to turn it up a few notches."

I nodded, feeling nervous but hopeful at the same time.

This time, she kept contact with my arm for a few seconds longer before pulling away. "Nothing, you didn't feel anything?" she asked, looking impressed.

"No," I said.

"Wanna try one more time?" she asked.

"Sure," I said.

She held her hand on my arm for a full minute, her eyebrows going higher and higher on her forehead until she released me.

"Wow!" she said. "Cool!"

"So this means I'm a shield?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," Kate said, nodding. "You should have felt  _something_. If I had tried that on anyone else, they would have started convulsing, at the very least."

"A mental shield, it seems," Eleazar clarified. "If someone tried to tackle you, it doesn't seem you could stop that. But still, your power seems exceedingly powerful. Especially if it's up unconsciously. Say...I wonder if you could become aware of it and learn to project it, like Renata. That would be a sight to see!"

"Who's Renata?" I asked.

"She's not important," Edward said quickly. "You won't meet her."

"Her gift is a physical shield," Eleazar explained. " _She_ can stop people from tackling her. And she can project it at least a few yards, in order to protect others."

Before I could ask any more questions about exactly what  _others_ this Renata was protecting, Edward's phone buzzed. He looked at the screen.

"It's Alice," he announced. "They're about to take off from Abbotsford. Factoring in the drive from Anchorage, she predicts they'll arrive here in ten hours and ten minutes." He looked up at me. "You think you're ready for this?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. Part of me wished they would knock on the front door right now; another, smaller part of me hoped they just wouldn't come at all. But I knew I needed answers, answers they could provide. If I wasn't ready for anything else, I was ready for answers.


	9. Reunion, Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This chapter contains brief dialogue quoted from New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Song: Into Oblivion (Reunion)-by Funeral for a Friend

_BPOV_

From what little I knew about sleep, it sounded like a wonderful way to pass the time. I wished for what must have been the umpteenth time that I could get tired and just do it, if for no other reason than to make it seem like time was passing by faster. But my nerves were so high I didn't think I'd be able to, even if I could.

My new friends did their best to distract me. The women wanted to continue our fashion show, and that was fun for a while, and took up most of the time. I must have tried on every piece of clothing in their combined closets.

About an hour before Edward's family was due to arrive, I put the blue dress back on, and we all returned to the living room. Seeing the state of my nerves, Eleazar suggested that everyone go hunting but Tanya, Edward, and me. Apparently Edward had told him a little about my past, and my anxiety about being around a lot of other vampires at once.

After they had left, the three of us sat on one of the couches in the living room. We were mostly silent. Edward kept asking me if I was excited, trying to get me to talk. After about my fifteenth jittery shrug, Tanya shot him a look (and probably a thought or two,) and he stopped. A short time after that, Tanya led us into what she called "the meeting room." I supposed it would have been the room where a human family shared their meals.

Inside was a large wooden table that sat six. It was the extending kind, Tanya explained, as she quickly pulled it out to seat two more. "It extends fully to seat fourteen, for those rare occasions when the whole family needs to have a meeting," she said, pulling two more chairs from the corners of the room, arranging them at the table.

"I'll leave you two," she said with a smile, and exited the room.

I could feel my breath hitching a little as she left. I sat in one of the chairs at the head of the table. Edward watched me, making me feel even more nervous and self-conscious.

Apparently, he read my body language. "I'll, um...I think I'll meet my family outside when they pull up," he said. I nodded, and he left too.

A short time later, I heard two car engines outside the house, and the sounds of a happy family reunion shortly after that. I smiled a little as I listened to their laughter. How nice it must be for Edward, to have so many people who cared about him.

The voices moved inside, where the six new voices greeted Tanya. Their footsteps came closer and closer as she led them to the back of the house, to where I was waiting.

I rose as the doors opened and the coven of vampires entered the room. Seeing them all file in, I realized they were indeed a large group, and I suddenly felt very small and outnumbered. What if this was a trick? What if they turned out to be enemies?

Not a lot I would be able to do about it. I would just have to hope for the best.

The one I assumed to be the leader of the coven, the slightly older blond man, came forward, hand extended. "Hello," he said with a smile. "I'm Carlisle Cullen."

I felt my eyes widen against my will. So, these  _were_  the Cullens that Jake had mentioned. They didn't kill people, he'd said. They hunted animals, like me. That was good, wasn't it?

But unless I was wrong, that meant my guardian angel-the one who I knew had broken me, somehow-was among them. What had he done to me? And which one of them was it?

I tried to regain my poker face. I didn't want to show them my cards just yet.

I took Carlisle's hand and shook it. His smile broadened.

"It is so good to see you again, Bella."

He moved aside, and I realized that a girl with short, dark hair had been standing directly behind him the whole time. She was so small, she had been hidden completely by him.

Unlike Carlisle, she gave no pretense that I was meeting her for the first time. She went straight for a hug. I wasn't sure what to do, but I could feel the tension in her bones. She was hugging me so hard that it hurt. She'd missed me.

I hugged her back. Not quite as hard, but she seemed encouraged and held me even tighter.

We stood like that for a very long time. When we pulled back, I looked at her face, and thought she might be crying if she could. I looked at her questioningly.

"We thought you were dead," she said simply.

I didn't know what to say. "Oh," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize, Bella," she said, her voice pained. "It was my fault. Not the-incident-" She shot a glance at Edward. "But the-other misunderstanding, I guess. That was my fault. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry we weren't there for you. But we're here now. And everything's going to be all right." She smiled and moved aside.

Waiting behind her was a slightly older woman with warm brown hair. She hugged me hard too. "I'm Esme," she said, "and that was Alice." I nodded. I knew. I'd recognized Alice's voice from Edward's phone call. "It really is good to see you."

She moved aside, and behind her stood a Jake-sized individual. "Bella!" he roared.

"Don't scare her," Esme said before he could reach me. He stopped himself short, looking sad.

"It's okay," I said. Like Jake, I instantly trusted him.

He grinned. And I thought Alice and Esme could hug hard. He scooped me into a big bear hug, picking me up and spinning me around several times before putting me down. He never stopped grinning. "I'm Emmett," he said. "We missed you," he added, unnecessarily. I couldn't help laughing.

"Apparently so," I remarked. Alice laughed with me.

Behind Emmett was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was blonde and voluptuous. And for some reason, she was looking a little scared. Maybe not scared. Intimidated, maybe? Apprehensive? Of who? Me? It couldn't be me.

She stepped closer to me, looking unsure of whether to go for a hug or not. After a moment, she extended her hand like Carlisle. "Hi, Bella," she said, with a timid smile. "I'm Rosalie."

I shook her hand. She seemed relieved. What had she expected me to do? Bite her head off?

Rosalie moved aside to reveal the first truly terrifying individual of the Cullen coven. He was covered in scars from head to toe. I knew where those scars had come from. I couldn't help shying away from him. He must be dangerous.

He looked sad when he saw my reaction to him, and I instantly felt guilty. I was on my own in a house with eight vampires who were all friends with each other. If something went south, I didn't stand a chance. What was the point in even putting up a fight? Of even showing apprehension? In fact, my show of fear might even cause a fight.

The man with the scars stayed where he was, not coming closer to me. As my emotions continued to swing between fear and outright panic, I felt a wave of calm come over me from out of nowhere. I wanted to be alarmed, I wanted to be scared, but something wasn't allowing me.

"It's all right," the young man said slowly. "I believe Eleazar gave you a talk about gifts before our arrival. You're a mental shield, right?" I nodded slowly. "My name is Jasper. I have a gift, too," he said. "I can sense and control moods. I'm the one making you calm right now. I wouldn't do this without your explicit permission normally, but you're close to hysteria right now." He looked down at himself. "I apologize for my appearance. I have a past I'm not proud of." He looked back up at me. "But I assure you, I am no threat to you. Not anymore." I felt my face twist in confusion. Had he been the one who had hurt me when I was human?

There was an awkward silence that Carlisle ventured to break. "Why don't we all sit?" he said. "We have a lot to discuss."

We all took places around the rectangular dining room table. Carlisle took the head of the table nearest the door. Esme took the other end. The others moved to what I could only assume were their usual positions. To Esme's right sat Emmett. Across from Emmett was Rosalie. To Rosalie's left was Edward, to Edward's left was Jasper, and across from Jasper was Alice. I moved to sit in the middle of the table, to the empty space between Alice and Emmett. Edward was across from me. He smiled hesitantly at me. I gave a nervous smile in response.

Carlisle leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. "Let's begin at the beginning," he said. "What, exactly, do you remember, Bella?"

I frowned. "I remember waking up like this," I said, gesturing to myself. I saw Edward wince out of the corner of my eye. Jasper put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "I thought you knew what I did and didn't remember...somehow?"

"I don't know if you know, but Alice can see the future," Carlisle said. He kept talking past my baffled expression. "She saw Edward running into you just before it happened, and she saw the encounter between you two. She saw what you said to him, but she doesn't know much beyond that. Is that right, Alice?"

Alice nodded. "I haven't really seen anything since. I mean, I saw us coming here, and you taking it well, Bella. But that's about it. I can't know what you know, or your motivations. And Edward can't read your mind, so..." She shrugged. "We'll just have to piece together what happened ourselves."

"Wait a minute," I said. "I'm a mental shield. Edward can't read my thoughts. So how can you see my future, and Jasper control my mood?"

All of the Cullens looked puzzled. "Well, it's very possible that Jasper's gift works on the glandular system," Carlisle said finally. "His gift resulted in calming you physically, for example. We could all see how calm you got when Jasper's effect started working on you." He turned to Alice. "And Alice can see the future based on people's decisions. While she can't get inside anyone's head and see the actual decision being made, she does see how the decision will affect them physically." Carlisle shrugged. "But this is all idle speculation on my part, of course. Perhaps we can discuss it more with Eleazar later."

I nodded. What he'd said made sense. Carlisle had answered the questions I had well enough, for now. We all had bigger questions we needed answered.

"Was there anyone with you when you woke up, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. "Jacob," I said. I whipped my head around to Edward as, to my surprise, he began to growl ferociously.

"What happened, Bella? Did you fight him off? Stop it, Jasper," he snapped at his brother, who was surely trying to calm him. Jasper backed off.

"I don't understand," I said.

"Calm down, son," Carlisle said in his usual serene demeanor. "Let Bella explain."

Edward made an effort to calm himself. He let Jasper try again, and this time, it had some effect. He let me continue.

"He told me he was sorry," I said. I swallowed. This was hard. I'd tried not to think about Jake too much since our goodbye. It hurt too much. It reminded me of how alone I always felt.

I shook my head. I wouldn't be alone anymore. Alice said the Cullens would be here for me now.

They all waited patiently for me to continue. "He told me...they killed that redheaded vampire before she tortured me too much."

I jumped as most of the surrounding vampires started hissing. Some hisses were more ferocious than others. Carlisle alone maintained his eternally calm demeanor. "Alice, your vision," he said, turning to his left.

Alice turned to me. "I saw a vision of you jumping off a cliff, Bella. I-"

"Wait," I interrupted her. "Why would I do something like that?"

As one, the Cullens turned to Edward, who was looking at his lap. He winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, everyone, I'm aware," he said tiredly.

"Aware of what?" I asked.

"I'm aware of the fact that I have to be the one to explain this to you, Bella." He sighed deeply. "Bella, when you were human, you and I were-we became... _close_. You-"

"Close? Close how? We...were we  _dating_?" I asked. He nodded. He waited as I processed this information. This was surprising to me, and yet somehow it wasn't. I couldn't deny the attraction I'd felt to him since we'd met. Or, reunited, I guessed. But he had been so...well, mostly-restrained. He had been stunned to see me, and overjoyed, that much had been obvious. But why hadn't he mentioned this sooner? Maybe he just didn't want to overwhelm me. I don't know how well I would have taken it if this perfect stranger had knocked into me and claimed we had a romantic history together.

Then, with a jolt, I realized something.

"You said, 'When  _I_ was human...' Does that mean...you... _weren't_?"

He looked pained. "I've been frozen in time since 1918, Bella." I stifled a gasp. He sighed. "Yes, Bella, when we knew each other, you were a human and I was a vampire."

"And we were...were we... _intimate_?" I was mortified we were discussing this in a room of vampires who were as good as strangers to me and relatives to him. But I was confused, and I felt I had to know if I was going to make any progress.

He seemed appropriately embarrassed too, but he powered through it. "No, we weren't...not what you're thinking...I mean, we kissed, but..."

This time, I did gasp. "We  _what_?" I cried. I had managed to never kill a human, but then, I wasn't jamming my tongue down one's throat on a regular basis. "How on earth did you manage not to kill me?"

He looked at me mournfully, and didn't say a word.

"He loved you, Bella," Alice finally said simply. "He still does."

I couldn't speak. There was a lump in my throat. I looked up at him and nodded, signaling him to continue. He seemed relieved that I hadn't freaked out at the news. But his expression switched back to a sorrowful one as he continued.

"But you were still in danger around me, Bella. From me, yes, but from others like us who didn't follow our diet. And those who struggled to keep our diet." He didn't give anything else away, but I didn't miss Jasper's look of shame. I tensed.

"So, I thought it would be best...if I...Bella, I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am that I made the decision I did. It will haunt me for the rest of my existence...Bella...I left you. I left you unprotected, and I'm sorry."

I gasped. He buried his head in his hands.

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

_"You...don't...want me?"_

_"No."_

I didn't know where the voices came from, and they were over as soon as they arrived. But I heard them. And they hurt. They hurt more than I thought it was possible for words to hurt.

Edward had loved me, and then he'd changed his mind.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I didn't need to breathe.

_"You're not good for me...You don't belong in my world, Bella."_

It happened again.

Before anyone-least of all me-knew what was happening, I heard a ferocious snarl rip from my throat. "It was you!" I yelled. "Edward... _why_?"

I didn't wait for a response. Again, before anyone could react, I had launched myself completely over the table and had my hands around Edward's neck.


	10. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This chapter contains brief dialogue quoted from New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Song: The Con-by Tegan and Sara

_BPOV_

Before I knew what I was doing, I had my teeth at Edward's throat. Even I was stunned by the snarls coming from my mouth. I had knocked Edward out of his chair and onto the floor. He was lying perfectly still underneath me. He wasn't putting up a fight. I could kill him, right now...if I wanted to.  _Did_  I want to?

That moment of hesitation was all it took, and I lost my chance. The momentarily stunned Cullens leaped into action. Emmett and Jasper each took one of my arms, pulling me off of Edward. I could feel Jasper start bombarding me with calmness. I tried to fight it off, and fight them off. They were being careful not to hurt me, but I knew that under no circumstances were they going to allow me to get to Edward again. Esme helped Edward to a standing position, and Alice crouched down between them and me in a defensive posture.

Rosalie had stood when I knocked the table over, but hadn't moved since except to cross her arms at the scene unfolding before her. She started laughing.

It was Carlisle who brought me back to myself. Carlisle, eternally calm and in control, moved at human speed to stand in front of me, put his hands on my shoulders-ignoring my snapping teeth-and said quietly, "Bella. Enough. I understand that you're scared, confused, hurt, and frustrated right now, and that's okay. Anyone would be in your situation. We understand. Jasper, give her a minute to calm down on her own. Rose, that's enough."

Everyone listened to him. Rosalie stopped laughing, and I felt Jasper's influence less and less until it was gone.

I was ashamed of myself. I dropped my arms and hung my head. Carlisle had just spoken to me like a child. It wasn't embarrassment over that, though; I was ashamed of my actions. I was acting like a primal newborn again, bloodthirsty and uncontrollable. Carlisle and the rest of them were better than that. I thought I had been, too.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," I said, looking at the floor. "It won't happen again."

There was silence in the room. Emmett and Jasper loosened their grip on me, but didn't let go. I wasn't surprised.

"I deserved that," Edward finally said. My head snapped up, and we all turned to look at him.

Esme was trying to make sense of what he'd just said. "Edward, what-?"  
"You remembered, didn't you?" Edward asked me, ignoring his mother. "You remembered what I said to you that day."

I narrowed my eyes. "I thought you couldn't read my thoughts."

Edward shrugged. "I can't. But I saw it in your eyes. That same look: The hurt, the disbelief, the betrayal...that's why I looked away. I couldn't take seeing it again. Bella, I'm so sorry. I completely deserved that."

We were all silent again. Alice was turning her head, looking from Edward to me. "Edward..." she said slowly. "You told us we were leaving to keep Bella safe. You never did tell us what you said to her. You told me not to look." She turned to face Edward with steel in her eyes and stoniness in her movements. "What did you say, Edward?"

Edward winced and looked down. "Don't make me say it again," he said quietly.

 _"I don't want you to come with me,"_ I said, before I could stop myself. Everyone jerked their heads around to me. The look on Edward's face almost made me want to stop, but I couldn't.  _"You're not good for me, Bella,"_  I spat.  _"You don't belong in my world...My kind...we're very easily distracted."_  That last one was a new one that just came to me, but I knew it to be true.

Alice looked like she might be the next to attack Edward. Jasper moved from me to her, putting his arms around her. Carlisle was shaking his head. Esme was looking at Edward as if waiting for a denial. When it was apparent none was coming, she shook her head sadly too. "Oh, Edward, how could you," she murmured.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done," Edward finally said. "But I had to say something that would make her give up on me." He sounded like he was trying to justify his actions more to himself than to me.

"But I didn't give up on you, did I?" I said, more details coming back. "I followed you."

Edward looked startled and alarmed. "You-you what?" he asked.

"I followed you," I repeated. "I couldn't find you, couldn't keep up with you, of course, but I tried. I followed you until it was dark, but you were gone. Just like you promised."

Silence again, this time broken by a commotion in the hallway outside the room where our meeting was taking place. I could hear Tanya yelling.

"Who do you think you are? This is our home! You can't just barge in here like a-"

"I told you, I'm looking for my friend. I have reason to believe she's in trouble."

I winced. Garrett! I hadn't forgotten about him, exactly, after I'd run into Edward. I just didn't really think for a second that he'd come after me!

I didn't have time to warn anyone before the double doors to the room we were standing in burst open with a cry of, "Bella!" There in the doorway stood the very tall, imposing figure of the only real friend I had in this life.

Garrett scanned the room, spotting me quickly, and noticing Emmett's hand still on my arm. Garrett growled at the sight. Emmett quickly relinquished his grip on me and retreated to Rosalie's side.

Garrett strode over to me and pulled me behind him, and began backing toward one of the windows.

Tanya entered moments behind Garrett, scowling at him. "Sorry for the interruption, Carlisle," she said. "This-this barbarian stormed in here and accused us of kidnapping his friend. Bella, I assume."

"Well, haven't you?" Garrett growled. He turned his head to me. "Jump out of the window behind us, Bella. I'll hold them off for as long as I can."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "That won't be necessary, Garrett," I said. "I'm sorry I didn't leave word for you, but I ran into some old friends and we decided to come back here to catch up."

He looked confused. "You don't-"

"Have any friends but you. I know," I said. It sounded pathetic when I said it out loud. "I knew them when I was human."

Garrett's eyes widened. "Did you, now?" he said. "How fascinating." Then his eyes narrowed with suspicion. "How would you know? You remember so little about your human life."

"Let's just say I've...made some progress in the memory department today. These are the Cullens I told you about, who helped inspire my diet. I told you other vampires like me existed!"

"So they do," Garrett said, turning from me to them. "I noticed the difference in eye color, of course, but I didn't quite make the connection that these must be the Cullens. Forgive me," he told them with a slight bow. The coven had been waiting patiently for me to explain things. "Bella and I often travel together, but split up to hunt, as our diets are quite different. We always arrange a meeting time and place. When Bella missed the last one, I set off to find her. I found her scent and the scent of a stranger, and followed them back here. It didn't even occur to me that she might have run into a friend. I just assumed the worst and decided to take matters into my own hands. I apologize."

"That's quite all right," Carlisle said. "Any of us would have done the same for one of our family members."

"You consider yourself a family? How odd!" Garrett said bluntly.

I smacked him in the shoulder. "Don't be rude," I said.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen, and this is my wife, Esme," Carlisle said, initiating proper introductions. "These are my adopted children: Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper. The home you are in belongs to our cousin Tanya of the Denali coven."

"The rest of my immediate family is out hunting," Tanya said, inserting herself in the conversation pointedly. She made eye contact with Garrett, then glanced at the doors he had barreled through. He followed her gaze and saw that they were hanging off the hinges.

"Oh. Sorry about that," he said simply. Tanya raised her eyebrows, as if she was waiting for more. He shrugged. "Can't fix it, can't pay to fix it. Sorry."

"We'll take care of it, Tanya," Carlisle said. "We were the cause of the misunderstanding."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Tanya said. "Now, I think I'll take-Garrett, was it?-out to meet the rest of the family while you continue your meeting." She gestured to the open doorway.

Garrett didn't move from his protective position in front of me. If anything, he tensed up.

"Garrett," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm fine. Really." Was I? "Go on. It'll be interesting for you to meet other animal drinkers."

"Yes," he said, seeming torn. He looked down at me, concerned. "Bella, are you sure you want me to leave?" He looked around the room once more, noticing for the first time the overturned table and chairs.

"That was all me, Garrett. I had a little...outburst, earlier. It's fine now." Was it?

"We won't be far," Tanya said reassuringly.

Garrett shook his head, turning to me. "Bella..."

I began speaking at vampire speed, so low that only the two of us could hear, deciding to share what the women had told me about themselves during our fashion show. "Tanya and one of her sisters are unmated. Until recently, all three of them had relations with human men." I quirked an eyebrow. "Succubae. Inspired the original legends."

Garrett's eyebrows shot so high I thought they might fly off his forehead. "Well, why didn't you say so?" he said. If there was trait stronger in Garrett than his loyalty, it was his curiosity.

In a flash, he was out the door, followed swiftly by Tanya. I was alone with the Cullens, and the air of ease and informality Garrett had brought quickly dissipated. Things were suddenly awkward again.

"Wow," Emmett finally said. "Where did you meet that guy?"

"Baffin Island," I shrugged. I decided to save the long version of how we'd met. "He can tell you more about himself later, if you want."

"I'm sure we'd all like that," Carlisle said. "He seems like a very genuine fellow. Now, where were we?" He was asking to be polite, but it backfired. We all had perfect recall, and we all turned to look at the overturned furniture again, then at Edward.

"What, exactly, did you promise her, Edward?" Alice asked. Somehow, she had a dangerous air about her, and Jasper imperceptibly tightened his grip on her.

"I-I promised it would be like we never existed," Edward choked out, looking around the room desperately, looking at anywhere but at his family, or at me.

The room was silent for several seconds. An eternity, it seemed, somehow. I broke it, finally.

"Don't you get it?" I said quietly. I crossed the room until I was standing in front of Edward. Everyone but Carlisle tensed. He gestured for them to remain at ease. Gently, slowly, slower than a human, I placed my hands on either side of Edward's face. He wasn't breathing, and was staring at me with a confused mixture of emotions on his face.

I held his face tenderly. I wasn't going to kill him. How could I have ever entertained that thought?

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me," I said softly. No words had ever felt truer on my lips.

To my surprise, Edward leaned into my touch, until our foreheads were pressed together. In another part of my mind, I was aware that the rest of the family was filing out, giving us some privacy.

I don't know how long we stayed, our eyes closed, just feeling the electricity singing between us. After some time, though, Edward fell forward completely, falling into my arms. I caught him, and held him as he cried without tears.


	11. Conference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Get Better-by Mates of State

_APOV_

We exited the room two-by-two, leaving the compound behind. We didn't want to just give the illusion of privacy, we wanted to give it, truly. We could, for the first real time in six years. Even on the drive to Alaska, Edward had been given check-in times to call Carlisle, and I was always carefully watching his future. We were all ready to get on a plane and intercept him if he so much as toyed with the idea of taking a flight to Italy.

Now, we were leaving him alone with his thoughts. And Bella's. But hers didn't really count, since he couldn't hear them. I couldn't imagine his relief-or maybe dread-to finally have some time to sort his complicated thoughts and emotions out, without any interference.

Thinking of emotional interference reminded me of Jasper. I glanced over at my mate and squeezed his hand. I didn't envy him right now. Emotions were running fast and intense. Our kind tended to be intense, but relatively stable in emotions after the newborn craze passed. And our family had been in a six-year slump of deep depression and mourning. Now, after all this pain, we had found Bella again. I couldn't imagine the well of deep emotions she and Edward must be feeling all at once.

As for me, I felt so many things! Joy, of course, that my sister-who I thought I'd seen die-was alive. Happiness, and a little bit of smugness that she was a vampire now, indestructible and impossible for Edward to leave behind again. Distress and guilt that she'd been attacked when we'd left her behind, and had spent six long years without us, and without her memory. A hint of jealousy that I hadn't really spent any time with her yet, and sadness that she didn't seem to remember me at all. Outright fury at stupid Edward and his stupid martyr complex that had almost gotten her killed for no good reason but to assuage his own stupid guilt. But also compassion for what must be his relief. I was relieved, too. Beyond relieved that she was alive, and with us. And yet, for once, I didn't dare to get my hopes too high that things would be all right. After all, I hadn't had a firm vision yet.

But did my visions even mean anything anymore?

Underneath all of my emotions, I was confused, and, for the first time in a very long time, doubtful. Doubtful of myself and my gift. I couldn't remember a time that my visions had been so terribly wrong. And if I couldn't remember it, it hadn't happened. Not in this life.

Our silent procession finally came to a halt in a clearing about four miles from the Denali complex. Plenty of space to give Edward and Bella some privacy.

Being a vampire with supersonic hearing-not to mention having a family member with an impressive telepathic range-made things inconvenient sometimes. At least we had superhuman speed, or the journey out here would have taken at least an hour.

We formed a circle. It was apparent we were going to try to sort through things. We probably should have done that first, at least the best we could, and then explain things to Bella. The discussion we'd just had had been so confused and haphazard, it would have been somewhat hard to make sense of had we been human. And we weren't close to finding everything out yet.

"Are we really leaving them alone together?" Rosalie scoffed. "She just tried to kill him!"

"Rose, it's fine," I said. "I don't see anything bad happening."

"Well, you didn't see anything bad happening the first time she attacked him, did you?" she snapped.

"Yeah, but that makes two for-what, a trillion?" Emmett said.

I shrugged in response. I had long since stopped counting my visions. But he was right; I hadn't seen Bella survive, and I hadn't seen her attack Edward before it happened.

"I think you didn't see Bella attack because she was acting on instinct," Carlisle said. "She didn't really make a decision to act. She'd just had a nasty shock and an influx of overwhelming emotions. She just reacted. I trust that it won't happen again, Rosalie," he said, turning to my older sister, heading off another remark. Rosalie closed her mouth and crossed her arms.

"As for the first inaccurate vision, well," he continued. "Frankly, I'm stumped."

"Me too," I said. "I  _saw_  it. I  _saw_  her die."

"But did you really, Alice?" Esme asked gently. "I mean, the vision just ended, didn't it? Is that what usually happens when you see someone die?"

"Well..." I said. Unbidden, unfulfilled visions flashed through my perfect memory. Jasper in the wars, being overwhelmed by newborns if he took a wrong turn in battle. His screams as he was torn apart, then darkness. Edward heading off to Italy, his neck cracking. Darkness.

I shuddered. Jasper wrapped his arms around me.

It was a little different with humans. Bella had been the only human I'd ever watched with any frequency. I'd never gotten to know another human as well as her. Everyone else just seemed to flash out of my sight so quickly. And to be honest, she had, too. Ever since I'd started watching her, her future had flickered out before my eyes on a number of occasions. Those early days, when Edward had wrestled so mightily with his thirst, must have been just as awful for me as they were for him.

And that day in the parking lot, when that human boy had almost hit her with his truck. She had been there, and she had been gone.

And then on her birthday...that awful day, when Jasper had nearly killed our little sister. I hadn't seen the paper cut, because there were no decisions involved in an accident like that. But I saw Jasper lunge, half a second before he had. I was paralyzed, watching him devour her, even as Emmett and Carlisle held him back.

I hadn't meant to look for her future that day, six years ago. I'd promised Edward, as much as it had pained me. But this had been a big one. A life-changing one. Maybe even a fate one. The big ones and the fate ones often came to me unbidden, like the ones I'd had when I'd first woken up to this life: The ones of Jasper and the Cullens.

I replayed the memory of the vision for the first time in six years. I knew now it wasn't true; it couldn't hurt me anymore.

Bella jumping from the cliff, her struggle in the water; Victoria pulling her onto the shore, biting her.

The vision ended in exactly the same place as it had before. I hadn't really expected anything different.

But I did notice something new: "She was still breathing when the vision ended," I said in wonder. "Edward and I didn't look closely enough at her chest. It was rising and falling marginally. Neither of us  _wanted_  to analyze the vision, or look too close. When the vision ended, we assumed she was dead. Because to answer your question, Esme, yes, the vision usually just ends when someone dies."

We all stared at each other. What did that  _mean_ , though?

"It seems like something is interfering with your visions, Alice," Carlisle said, stating the obvious. "But what could it be?"

"You didn't have any other visions of her until Edward ran into her yesterday?" Rosalie asked.

"No," I said. "I thought she was dead. I stopped looking for her. Maybe my brain sort of subconsciously cut off her frequency. Or maybe whatever's interfering with my visions stuck with her until yesterday. I was still looking for Edward, of course. I didn't start seeing her future again until their futures crossed paths. And, to be honest, I'm still having some trouble keeping tabs on her."

"This is giving me a headache," Emmett complained.

I searched my memory for anything similar that may have happened in the past. "Carlisle!" I suddenly gasped. "The wolves!"

"What?" he said.

"Remember when you ran into one of the wolves after we went back to Forks? I was watching everyone carefully, in case Victoria was still around and tried picking us off one-by-one. You suddenly just fell off my radar. I looked and looked and couldn't find you, but I never saw her attacking. I called and left a message, remember? I was panicking. We were getting ready to go look for you when you called me back and said you'd just run into one of the wolves, and everything was fine. I thought it was a fluke or something. Oh, I'm so stupid! Why didn't I figure it out before?"

"You're not stupid, Alice," Esme said firmly. "None of us figured it out."

"Wait," Emmett said slowly, "so you can't see the wolves or anything around them?"

"I don't think so," I said. "If I'd only been with you in 1936, the first time you ran into them, then I'd know for sure!"

"We can go back some time and test our hypothesis," Carlisle said. "And we  _will_ go back. I think they have some explaining to do. They did admit to killing Victoria, and confirmed that Bella was dead."

"At the compound, Bella mentioned there was a Jacob with her when she woke up," said Jasper, finally speaking up. "I remember before Bella came over that...last day...Edward told me there was a kid from the reservation named Jacob Black who showed up at school and gave Bella a birthday present. Do you think that could be the same Jacob?"

"The chief we made the treaty with was Ephraim Black," Carlisle said solemnly. "I'd bet you anything it's the same Jacob."

"What exactly did he say to you, Carlisle?" I asked. "When you asked about Bella and Victoria?"

"It was the Alpha I met, a young man named Sam," Carlisle told us. He hadn't shared much with us of the impromptu meeting, probably even banishing it from his thoughts for Edward's sake. "Sam did not seem to exactly share Ephraim's desire for peace, but he followed the treaty anyway.

"I ran into him on a quick hunting trip. We were on opposite sides of the river. He was in wolf form. When he saw me, he ran off, but reappeared moments later as a human with shorts on. He asked why we had returned. I avoided the question, telling him we were hopefully only back for a short time. He said that we had returned too late to save Bella, and that they had already had the funeral. He said that she was dead because of us. I told him that we were aware of her death, and unimaginably sorry that we had arrived too late to do anything. I told him it was as if we'd lost a daughter. He snorted at that. None of the wolves knew about our gifts, and I wanted to keep it that way, so I asked how Bella had died. Sam described Victoria, and asked if she sounded familiar. I told him that she was an enemy of ours, and asked if they knew where she was now. He told me she was dead, that his pack had killed her, but they had been too late as well. Then...well, he went on a bit of a tirade about how we shouldn't have left Bella alone with a known enemy hunting in the area. I tried to explain the situation as best I could, but, if I'm honest, he was more than a little right." Carlisle sighed.

I was confused. "Why would he tell you Bella was dead if she wasn't?" I asked.

"Well, from what I know, they consider our kind to be dead. And technically, we are," Carlisle said. "Maybe from his perspective, he was telling the truth."  
"Oh, come on!" Rosalie said. "We've never liked each other. I bet he told you she was dead just to spite us."

"I don't want to jump to conclusions until I hear his side of the story," Carlisle demurred.

"When do you think that will be?" Esme asked.

"As soon as we can convince Bella that we will protect her, and that it's safe for her to return to Forks. As part of our family, she is protected by the treaty," Carlisle said.

"You're assuming a lot, Carlisle," I said sadly.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "It's just...I know what it's like-to wake up with nothing. We both ended up having something to guide us, eventually; she had Jacob and Garrett, I had my visions. I mean...I knew what would happen. Or...I could hope. I knew everything about you, and I wanted to be with you all; but I didn't know for certain if you'd want me, a stranger. With Bella, it's sort of the opposite: We know her and want her to join us. But she doesn't remember the first thing about us. We're just a bunch of strangers to her. I just...I haven't seen anything yet. I guess I don't want us to get our hopes up," I finished.

Carlisle's frown had deepened. "We should probably go back now, and try to explain things to her," he said. "Maybe Edward's been able to jog her memory."

"Maybe," I said.

As we proceeded back to the Denali compound, again, two-by-two, Jasper squeezed my hand hard. I felt my spirits suddenly lighten considerably, without a good reason. I shot him a glare, and he abated his emotional interference with an embarrassed look on his face. I softened, and squeezed his hand back.

As we neared, we could hear Bella and Edward talking. I couldn't make out the words, and I hated that we were about to interrupt them. But as we entered the hall to the meeting room, I could hear Edward loud and clear:

"Bella...please...don't."

"Please understand, Edward. I just need some time...I promise I'll give you my answer, once I've figured everything out."

"But..."

We entered the room. We all had a pretty good idea of what they'd been talking about. But for courtesy's sake, Carlisle had to ask. "What's going on?"

Edward looked at us with a pained face. Before he could answer, Bella took a deep breath.

"I've decided I need to go off on my own again for a while," she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I sincerely apologize for the long wait for this chapter. Things are finally getting back to normal, at least for me, after historic flooding in my state. I have been writing again, and while I can't promise scheduled updates like before, I don't intend to make you wait this long for another new chapter. Remember, you can subscribe to the story if you'd like to get an alert about when I update. I appreciate your patience and support. Thank you for reading!


	12. Pep Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Call It Off-by Tegan and Sara

_BPOV_

"Please try to understand," I pleaded. The looks they were giving me made me feel terrible. "I just...I need some time. A lot's just been dumped on me. I don't blame any of you, of course; it was all just a horrible misunderstanding. I'm not angry anymore. I'm just confused. I just want to be on my own, to figure this out..."

Alice was the first to speak. "We understand, Bella," she said softly. "Don't we, Edward?" She cut a glance at him, obviously thinking some carefully selected thoughts.

Edward seemed to droop in defeat. I felt awful. I hated to disappoint him. But I just didn't know any other way around it. I didn't feel comfortable being around him just yet, not when I didn't know how exactly I felt.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"As soon as the others come back, so I can say goodbye-for now," I was quick to add, as he hung his head.

The hole in my chest was threatening to burst open again. I hoped it would hold until I worked things out, and made my decision on whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship with Edward again. For once in my remembered life, I wanted to make a decision that wasn't dictated by my loneliness.

* * *

_EPOV_

We all stood in awkward silence as we waited outside for the Denalis to return. Tanya was the first to break through the line of trees around the compound. She was followed by Carmen and Eleazar, then Irina and Laurent. Last came Kate and Garrett, who, to everyone's surprise, were shyly holding hands.

I glanced over at Bella. Her eyebrows looked like they were about to shoot off her forehead.

"Bella!" Garrett called. He and Kate dropped hands, and he ran forward to my love. "Check it out!" he cried. He leaned over her and widened his dark orange eyes.

Bella gasped. "You-you tried an animal?" she stuttered.

"Yep!" he said proudly, looking back at Kate. "Kate, um,  _persuaded_  me." He winked. I winced. Like Emmett, he was a  _loud_ thinker.

"I gave him a couple jolts," Kate jumped in quickly, before anyone-namely Emmett-could say anything suggestive. "He asked me to!" she added hastily, as Bella glared at her.

Bella sighed. "Why would you ask her to, Garrett?"

"I was curious," he shrugged. "And I don't think I've ever told you I'm a glutton for punishment," he said with a grin.

Tanya made a gagging noise, making almost everyone laugh.

"Well, I have to give you credit, Kate," Bella said, shaking her head. "You've done more with him than I've been able to do in about four years."

"Hey, what's with the welcoming committee?" Garrett suddenly asked, looking around at us all. "Did someone tip you off to my big surprise?"

"No," Bella said. "I just wanted to say goodbye to everybody."

Everyone's thoughts immediately turned somber. "Goodbye?" Garrett repeated.

Bella nodded. "I need to be on my own for a while. To sort things out. I've been given a lot to think about."

Garrett stared at her, his mind racing. He looked regretfully back at Kate, then sighed and said, "Then I'm coming with you."

Bella shook her head. "I can't ask you to do that, Garrett," she said. "Not when you and Kate have just gotten...acquainted. And besides, I'd rather be completely alone. More opportunities to clear my head, you know?"

Garrett's thoughts were unsure. "Are you certain, Bella?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," Bella said, a little too quickly. "Don't worry about it. And it's not goodbye forever. I plan on coming back here to see you all again before too long, anyway."  
Bella embraced everyone in turn. After each member of my family gave their hug and well wishes, they entered the compound.

As the last one before me, Alice, went through the door, Bella tentatively reached out and took both my hands in hers. "I'm sorry," she said sadly.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I said, just as glumly. "I'm completely the one to blame."

"I don't think that's true," Bella said. "I understand that you felt you had to do it, but...it would have been nice if you'd listened to how I felt on the matter."

"I know. And I'll always be sorry that I didn't."

She sighed. "Maybe things would be different if I could remember the good times, too," she said. "I wish I could, I really do."

I was focusing on her face intently, trying to ignore the loud thoughts in the compound. I had to memorize this version of her before she disappeared again.

"I'll think about you all the time," she said, gazing back into my face. "And I'll do my best to try to remember." The next thing I knew, she had her arms around me in a hug. I was stunned for a moment, but I quickly hugged her back.

I could feel the sting of nonexistent tears as I held her tight. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't know if I could do it again, if I was strong enough...

 _You can do it, Edward,_  Alice's calm thoughts reached out to me.  _You have to. If you don't let her go now, you'll never have her at all._

Somehow, someway, I found the strength to release her. She stepped back, nodding once to me. "I'll see you soon, Edward. I promise." With one last look, she turned and walked away from me.

 _This is what she wants,_ Alice thought to me.  _You have to respect that._

I knew she was right. But I didn't have to like it.

* * *

I couldn't remember when time had meant something to me. I supposed it had been when Bella had been human; when time had meant something to her. It seemed to stop when I thought she had died. And when we'd reunited, time had seemed to stretch out before me, full of promise.

Now, though, it again seemed to have no meaning. Bella was gone, that was all I knew. And despite Alice's assurances that she would return-though she didn't know  _when_ -I felt my deepest fear was dangerously close to being realized: That she wouldn't return; that she would realize she wanted nothing to do with me.

The Denalis assured me that I could go to Abbotsford with my family if I wished, and that they would call the moment Bella returned. I wouldn't hear of it. I wanted to be there if- _when_ -she came back. I wanted to hear her answer in person. And I wanted to be able to say goodbye to her in person, if that was what she chose.

My immediate family wanted to stay close to me. They seemed just as eager as me to see Bella again.

It was a good thing the compound was huge; even so, with the fourteen of us, it still seemed quite cramped. Thoughts that weren't my own filled my head at all times. And yet, I didn't dare to venture far from the building. What if Bella returned while I was gone?

Making things harder on me was Kate and Garrett's newfound bliss. It was the last thing they intended, but that didn't make it any easier.

I found Garrett to be a bit odd, but I liked him well enough. I hadn't attacked him on sight when he had burst into our meeting, calling Bella's name, because his thoughts about her had been above reproach. They were purely brotherly and protective. It seemed he had more than one similarity with Emmett. Kate, who was somewhat used to my mindreading, at least made an effort to keep her thoughts appropriate; Garrett, once he found out that I could read minds, seemed to sometimes think even louder. But he was a good person, and I was grateful for his companionship and protection of Bella over the past years. So I let him and Kate continue their courtship without so much as a word from me.

Kate and Garrett may have caused me turmoil, but Laurent was the one who troubled me. I had been appreciative of him during our first encounter, when he'd reined in James and then given us information on him and Victoria. I was glad he'd decided to try the animal diet, and I was happy for him and Irina. He'd given me no reason in the past to distrust him.

And yet...there was something about him that made me feel I'd misplaced that trust. Or, more specifically, something about his thoughts. Ever since I'd come to Denali, the tenor of his thoughts seemed very different from the last time I'd heard them, when James was still alive. Of course, he was mated now, but that didn't entirely account for it. I was familiar enough with thought patterns to know when someone was trying to keep something from me.

The way he hid his thoughts was similar to Emmett's favorite technique: Whenever I thought he was on the verge of slipping and thinking of whatever it was he was hiding from me, he would suddenly change course and obsessively begin to think of Irina, and their time together. That was always enough to keep him sufficiently distracted, and enough to drive me away.

But what suddenly made me think there was cause for concern was the fact that he had not been nearly as surprised as the rest of my cousins to see Bella, as a vampire. And, contrary to what he told Irina and the others, he had recognized her instantly.

I wasn't sure what he was hiding, why he was being deceitful, or what it all meant; but Jasper sensed his deception, too. He wanted to confront him, but I didn't know about that. I didn't want to cause family strife over nothing. But then, if it wasn't nothing...In the end, we decided to see if he let anything slip. Jasper and I watched and waited, and kept our suspicions to ourselves in the meantime.

But it wasn't Laurent who slipped in his thoughts. It was Emmett.

My immediate family was gathered together in the living room while the Denalis were all out hunting together again. Though we did generally enjoy spending time all together, we also felt it was important to spend time in smaller groups, or in our respective family units. Besides, the larger the group, the more difficult it was to get good prey when hunting.

My family may have been together in the same room, but we were all off in our own worlds. Alice and Jasper were silently curled up together in one of the window seats, sparkling in the setting sun. They were content just enjoying each other's presence, as usual. Esme was sketching a landscape design in one of the room's nooks. She didn't currently have any plans to bring the sketch to life; it was more of a design exercise for her. She was trying to figure out how to squeeze one more fountain into the design without it looking overly opulent or outright tacky. Carlisle was sitting near her, reading a digital copy of a new medical book on his tablet. I was skimming along with him in his mind as he read, but there was very little updated information, and the changes that I did notice were incredibly minor.

Rosalie, Emmett, and I were sitting on the couch. They were watching a movie that was on TV. It was a Harry Potter one, I was pretty sure. The sixth one, maybe? I had long since stopped keeping track. I knew the basic plot of the series, but it had never really interested me. I had been a little preoccupied with falling in love with Bella around the time the book series had been reaching its conclusion, so I wasn't very familiar with how it ended. And since her "death" six years ago, of course I hadn't been keeping up with much of anything. I imagined I would catch up with it eventually.

I was paying more attention to Carlisle's medical text, but I was sort of following along with the movie through Emmett's eyes. His sense of wonder tended to make me care about things I wouldn't normally.

The movie had just entered a flashback of sorts, where a young man was asking someone about some made-up word. (Maybe that was my problem with the series-I had little patience for made-up words.) Emmett was turning over in his mind the concept the older man was explaining.

_Splitting the soul in pieces...huh. That's interesting. Glad that's not real. I mean, at least, as far as I know. How would you even know it happened? It would hurt, I guess. The same as the burning, or different? Nah, I don't think it would be like burning. Or maybe it would, just quicker. Yeah, it would be quick. I would know if I'd lost a piece of my soul, wouldn't I?_

"It's a movie, Emmett," I muttered.

Emmett glared at me before lashing out in his thoughts.  _He would say that. Talking about souls always makes him moody. Especially Bella's._

I whipped my head around to stare at Emmett.  _"What?"_ I said. Her soul! I had been so happy to have Bella back with me in any capacity that I had completely forgotten about her soul. How could I have done such a thing?

"Oops," Emmett said.

Everyone looked up then. Coming from Emmett,  _oops_ was never an inconsequential thing.

"Boys..." Esme said, thinking she was being preemptive.

But Carlisle was looking at my face. "Edward, what...?"

 _"Her soul, Carlisle,"_ I gasped, managing to stand. I began to pace.

"Emmett," Esme said, her expression and thoughts thunderous.

"I didn't mean to think about it!" Emmett protested, flapping his hands at the TV. "I was thinking about the movie, and it just kind of happened."

"Edward, just-" Carlisle started calmly. I cut him off.

"But her soul!" I cried, my hands twisting in my hair.

There was a collective,  _Here he goes again..._  But then:  _Oh, would you shut up about her soul already, Edward!_

I turned to Rosalie sharply, ready to give her a piece of my mind. I was so sick of her attitude. I'd been sick of it for far too long.

She looked up from the floor, glaring at me, and started dividing polynomials in her head. Without a word, she stood up and, to my surprise, took me by the hand. She led me out into the forest surrounding the compound.

She started running. I followed her lead. Whatever she wanted to say to me, she wanted it to be completely private, out of the hearing range of our family. I only followed because it was probably best that there were no witnesses when I killed her.

About a half a mile away, she stopped and turned on her heel to face me. "Stop it, Edward!" she said. "Just stop."

"You listen to me, Rosalie," I growled.

"No, you listen!" she shouted. "We have all had it up to here with your freaking martyr complex and your selfishness! Have you ever stopped to consider that Bella is her own person? That she can make her own decisions? That she has a say in the state of your relationship and whether it should carry on? That the issue of her soul is a private matter, between her and whatever god there may be? That it has nothing to do with you? How dare you! What almighty being chose you as the go-between, as the righteous person appointed to protect Bella's soul, if she even ever had one? What makes you so special? What gives you the right?"

I took a step back. I was pretty sure Rosalie would be red in the face right now, if she still had blood circulation. I considered my next words carefully. Part of me wanted to yell back at her, but part of me...part of me knew she was at least partially right.

"I...I love her," I finally said. "I want to protect her."

"That isn't your job, Edward." She wasn't yelling anymore, but she was speaking firmly. "You can only protect her if something is actively threatening her. And besides, she's perfectly capable of protecting herself. Your job, as her mate, is to make her happy. Your brooding is only going to make her miserable."  _It's made all of us miserable._ "For crying out loud, Edward, treat her as an equal! You  _are_  equal now."

"We're not," I whispered miserably. "She's never killed anyone. Not even once. I-I..."

"We've all killed. Even Carlisle, in his own way." She gestured to her hard, cold body. "She may not have killed anyone, but chances are she will, eventually. And what will happen then? Will you forgive her? Will you still love her?"

"Of course I will!" I said.

"I know," she said, her voice finally turning soft for a moment. "But before she comes back, you need to do a few things: First, drop the soul obsession. Even if you're right, and Bella had a soul, and it's gone now...you can't do anything about it. You need to accept what you have  _now_. And second, well, you don't need to love yourself, but you definitely need to stop loathing yourself. You need to  _forgive_  yourself, Edward. For everything."

"I don't deserve forgiveness," I said, turning away from her. The faces of my hundreds of human victims flashed before my eyes...ending with my most precious Bella's. If only I'd been there...

"And you're exceptional in that regard?" Rosalie asked. I turned back to her, confused. She went on. "You made mistakes. We all have, but we've all managed to forgive ourselves. Except for you. Carlisle and Esme forgave you long ago. Bella will forgive you, too. But you wouldn't have left her at all if you hadn't put her up on a pedestal and thought yourself unworthy of her."

I would never admit it, but I was impressed with Rosalie's line of reasoning. She was wrong, though.

But she wasn't done.

"The second you put someone up on a pedestal, you get in trouble. We're all special, but the second you actually start to think someone is  _better_ , you're in trouble."

"But she  _is_  better!" I protested.

"Maybe," Rosalie admitted. "But you're not  _worse_ , Edward."

Rosalie had been my sister for nearly eighty years. I'd always seen her as self-centered and shallow, based on the thoughts she'd had in my presence. But I'd never truly known how she'd  _felt._  And it was just now dawning on me that I'd never much cared. I stared at the seemingly young woman before me, who physically had not changed at all in those eighty years. But it appeared she had somehow changed in the year I'd been gone. Either that, or...or I'd never truly known her in the first place.

She sighed. She turned away from me, breaking our eye contact and our impasse.  _I should probably hunt now,_ she thought. I nodded. She  _had_  worked herself into a bit of a frenzy just now.

But she had one more thing to say to me.

"They call it the past for a reason, Edward. Let what's passed rest. Leave it behind you. Bella has."

And in a flash, she was gone. Before long, her thoughts faded from my mind, too. But as I lowered myself to the ground to think, her words were still echoing in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Edward does not speak for me on Harry Potter! While I haven't been obsessed since the series ended, I do have an abiding fondness for it. It was a huge part of my childhood, after all. (And don't worry, this won't turn into some kind of stealth crossover or anything!)
> 
> I hope Rosalie's speech didn't seem too out of character. I think she was just really fed up with Edward's self-loathing and wanted to verbally knock some sense into him.


	13. Reunion, Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Winter Song-by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

_EPOV_

It had been four weeks since Bella left, two weeks since Rosalie's "pep talk," and I felt much better. Alice's vision of Bella standing at the Denalis' door was becoming more and more clear. Though she was having trouble seeing her decision, my mood was getting better and better with just the thought of seeing my love again.

But the others seemed to be getting more and more tense, and I soon found out why.

Carlisle and Jasper had been driving into one of the various surrounding towns at least once a week to get a newspaper, and they seemed to be updating the news apps on their phones obsessively. Their behavior made me curious. But they didn't say anything to me, their thoughts betrayed nothing, and I didn't ask.

Finally, though, when Bella had been away for nearly five weeks, I returned from a hunt with Emmett to find everyone else gathered around the TV, watching the news.

"There have been nearly fifteen reported disappearances in the past week alone from Anchorage and the surrounding area," the male anchor was saying. "Authorities are baffled. Anyone with any information is asked to-"

Carlisle savagely muted the TV.

"There's no question now," Jasper said quietly. "They're following us."

I felt cold, all of a sudden. "What?" I asked. I didn't need to ask  _who_. I could tell from Jasper's frenzied thoughts and memories flashing through his head that they were talking about a group of newborns, possibly an army.

Carlisle quickly began to explain to me and our cousins. "While we were in Abbotsford, we became aware of a possible group of newborns based in Seattle. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett had just gotten back from scouting the area when Alice had the vision of Bella and Edward reuniting. They weren't able to ascertain much about the group, but they could only assume Seattle was their base. We'd decided to move to far away, just to avoid a confrontation, but now..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, surprised that they'd kept all this to themselves.

There was suddenly a sea of skeptical looks and a mental chorus of something along the lines of,  _Seriously, Edward?_

"You were distracted," Carlisle said out loud. "And we didn't want to worry you. Then, of course, you found Bella, and we all got a little distracted.

"Jasper and I have been keeping an eye on things, though. In the first couple of weeks since Bella left, the carnage moved up the coast through British Columbia. Then it seemed to jump to the area of Sitka and Juneau. There were some unexplained disappearances in cities in the Yukon, too. Now they're in Anchorage. It seems Jasper is correct: They're following us."

I was growing colder by the moment. I could feel my fingers trembling. They were too close. "Bella's out there, all alone," I said. I shot a glance at the big front doors. Where could she be? Her scent would be long gone by now...

Just as I was heading to the foyer, to see if there was any trace of her scent left outside, there was a knock on the door.

I froze, alarmed. The newborns surely wouldn't just knock on the Denalis' front door, would they? I hadn't heard any thoughts approaching. Had I really been so distracted that I-

I hadn't heard any thoughts!

Cautiously optimistic, I threw actual caution to the winds. I ran the rest of the way to the door and flung it open.

I felt a broad smile spread across my face as I took in the sight of Bella standing there. She blinked once at the suddenly open door, but upon seeing me, she smiled too.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," I said. "How have you been?" She looked well. Her eyes were still a bright yellow. She did seem a little ragged around the edges, but not nearly as much as she had when I'd first run into her.

"I've been fine. And you?"

Before I could answer, a twig somewhere in the forest behind her snapped. The next thing I knew, she had whirled around to face it, landing in a crouch.

"Bella-what?" I asked, staring at her bent back.

Hesitantly, and almost sheepishly, she turned to face me again. "Sorry," she said. "I'm being silly."

I stared at her.

She sighed. "For the past little while, I've felt like...like I'm being followed."

I looked over her head, out into the woods. "I don't hear any thoughts," I told her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't think there's anyone out there. It must have been an animal. But please, come inside." I opened the door wide and stood back to let her in.

As we walked through the foyer, she kept her eyes on the floor, shaking her head. "You must think I'm so paranoid and pathetic..." she said softly.

"I don't think that at all, Bella," I said with a frown. "In fact, I think there's something you should know."

After Bella and my family had finished greeting each other, Carlisle quickly told Bella what he had just told me. She had a deep frown on her face by the time he had finished.

"I've never heard of anything like this," she said. "Why are they doing this? What do you think they want?"

"We have no idea," Carlisle said. "We've always strived to be a peaceful coven."

"What made you think you were being followed, Bella?" Jasper asked gently.

"I'd come across strange scents," Bella said quietly. "Usually the same two or three. They were close, really close, but I never ran into anybody. Once, I got so frustrated and suspicious that I tried to seek them out. But I never found anything. I think at that point, they knew I was onto them, because I never really smelled or heard anything after that."

"And how long do you think you were followed?" Jasper asked.

"Maybe for two weeks," she shrugged. "It's been maybe a week since I think they stopped."

I couldn't help shuddering. I was beyond grateful that she hadn't been attacked and killed. But on the other hand, I couldn't figure out why she had been tracked. What could they want with Bella?

"Bella, please," I said softly. Her hand was lying on the cushion next to me, and I took it. "Please don't leave the compound on your own again."

"Gladly," she said, but she still had a frown on her face. She didn't pull her hand away from mine.

* * *

_BPOV_

Yes, it appeared I had decided to stay. Partly for my own safety, and partly because I really was ready to start a new relationship with Edward.

Not a fast-paced one, though, and not one picking up right where we had left off. I made that clear when darkness fell, and the couples starting filing off to their private rooms.

Edward gave me a good night smile and a kiss on the forehead, which was nice, and he started to leave the room.

I was just wondering where I was supposed to spend the night when Tanya spoke up. "Wait a minute, Edward," she said.

"Tanya-" he said, turning back and trying to cut her off. She didn't seem to notice.

"Aren't you going to show Bella to your room?"

I didn't fully comprehend what she meant until a few seconds later, when I heard Rosalie and Emmett reach their room, and certain...activities began to commence. The sounds were soon accompanied by a few others reaching their own rooms.

"I, um..." I stuttered, chancing a glance up at Edward, who was staring firmly down at the floor.

"Oh," Tanya said awkwardly. "I didn't-I just thought-"

"Good night, Tanya," Edward said.

Surely just as embarrassed as the pair of us, Tanya left the room. She avoided eye contact as she left Edward and me alone.

Edward began talking over the sounds that now seemed to echo around the compound. "She means well," he said. "She didn't know."

I nodded, still looking anywhere but at him.

"You remember I told you we weren't intimate like that?" he asked gently.

I nodded again.

"I would never pressure you into something you didn't want to do, Bella," he said.

I ventured to look at him.

"That said, would you like to come to my room?" he asked. "I promise you, nothing will happen. I'll show you to your own room any time you want. We can just talk."

I thought about it. Talking might help drown out the sounds.

"Okay," I said softly. He smiled.

As we climbed the stairs at a human pace, I felt the need to ask an awkward question. "Um...how long...does this go on?" I asked, gesturing around us. Someone somewhere moaned, as if to punctuate my question, and I winced.

"All night long," Edward muttered.

"All  _night_?" I squeaked.

Edward looked up at me with a smile. "We don't need to sleep," he said simply. "But there are other things mated couples feel they need."

"How do you stand it?" I said, shaking my head.

"You don't know the half of it," he said. I shot him an inquisitive look, and he tapped his temple. "Telepath, remember? I can hear and see...well, pretty much everything going through their heads."

I shuddered. "I don't envy you that," I said.

He laughed. "It's actually not so bad with so many of them," he said. "It's like being in a room with several different conversations going versus just one or two. You're aware of all the noise, but it's harder to actually make out the words."

We reached his room then. He opened the door, gesturing for me to go in first. I stepped in and looked around.

There was a small couch in one corner of the room, but no bed. The walls around the room were taken up by shelves of books and CDs. The only other feature worth noting in the room was an electronic keyboard and a little bench behind it.

I moved over to the keyboard as Edward watched me. I pressed the button that turned it on. "You play?" I asked.

He nodded. "Since I was human."

"You must be good, then," I said with a small smile, but then I noticed the look on his face. I sighed. "I'm sorry," I said. "I wish I could remember."

He shook his head. "It's okay," he said. He moved into the room, shutting the door behind him. "I prefer a real piano. I had one at home, but it wouldn't fit in my car when I came here. Besides, I wasn't really in the mood to play anymore, anyway." He pressed a key with his finger. "But one day a few weeks ago, Alice surprised me by going into town with Jasper and Carlisle and picked this up for me. She probably saw this happening," he said with a smile.

"That was nice of her," I said.

"I still haven't played too much," he said. "Let's see if I remember how."

He sat on the bench, patting the space next to him. It wasn't a flimsy folding thing; it was actually made of wood, and looked like it would hold the pair of us. So I sat down beside him.

He stretched his fingers briefly, and then they began dancing over the keys.

I didn't know much about music, but I knew that Edward had a talent. I watched his fingers, mesmerized, as the notes sang to me. The song he was playing was achingly familiar, and I closed my eyes. But just as I felt close to recalling something, the song ended.

I slowly opened my eyes. I realized that I had my head on Edward's shoulder. To my surprise, I didn't spring up and away. I felt calm, suddenly, and peaceful like I couldn't remember ever feeling before.

"I wrote that for you when you were human," Edward said softly. I raised my head and looked up at him. He was looking down at me tenderly. "Do you remember?"

"Sort of..." I said. "It seemed really familiar."

He smiled. "I think I'll have to write a new one for you now," he said.

"I like that one," I protested.

He laughed. "You can have more than one song, Bella," he said. "You deserve as many as you'd like."

I ducked my head, embarrassed. "I like that one," I repeated softly.

Edward was quiet for a minute. "Okay," he finally said. "Would you like me to play it again?"

I nodded.

We sat like that all night, Edward playing my song, songs he'd written for his family members, and various bits and pieces he was working on. We didn't end up talking much. I wanted to talk, but we could always talk later, I decided.

We had time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not the end! It kind of felt that way when I was reading it again, but the newborn army is still out there! What could their motive be? We'll find out soon!


	14. At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, sorry, everyone! A close family member getting married+finals+not knowing exactly where I wanted this chapter to go=a long wait, unfortunately. But I'm back now with a nice long (by my standards) update for you.
> 
> Song: The Cave-by Mumford and Sons

_BPOV_

I expected things to be awkward the next morning as the Cullen and Denali covens gathered in the downstairs area, but they weren't. Everyone was making eye contact with everyone else, making small talk... I imagined they'd all been desensitized after spending the past...however long they'd all been together with each other. Or maybe they'd just been distracted by their own partners. Whatever the case, the sun brought a return to normalcy, and I welcomed it.

I was sticking with Edward, and Esme was gushing to him about how nice it was to hear him playing piano again-"Keyboard, Esme. It's not the same," he good-naturedly interjected-when Alice came bouncing down the stairs, Jasper's hand in hers. Edward gestured for them to join us.

"Thank you for getting that  _keyboard_  for him, Alice," Esme said, giving her daughter a hug. "You know how happy it makes me to hear him play."

"You're welcome, Esme," Alice said. She turned to Edward as Esme smiled and moved back in Carlisle, Kate, and Garrett's direction. "What, no thanks from you, Edward?" Alice asked with an impish grin.

"You know what I was about to say," Edward said, returning her smile.

"Yeah, I do," she said. "But Bella and Jasper don't know what you want to say next, so you might as well say it out loud."

"Well, I guess there's no easing into it now," Edward muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Bella, considering it looks like there's a newborn army stalking us-I wanted to ask Jasper to teach you how to fight. Do you want to learn?"

"Fight? Me?" I asked.

"You said you didn't want to leave the compound alone anyway, so hopefully you'll never have to use what you learn. But I know I'll feel a lot better if you know how to defend yourself, and I think you would, too."

It was hard to imagine myself as a fighter. But I probably wouldn't have lost my arms, even temporarily, if I'd been prepared and known how to defend myself. I still didn't like to think about what might have happened if Garrett hadn't been close by. I didn't want anything like that to ever happen again.

"Okay," I said. "You wouldn't mind teaching me, Jasper?"

"Of course not," he said. "It'll be good for you to learn."

* * *

Jasper and I went outside and started immediately.

"If we have to go up against the newborns, you'll have to rely on your wit," he told me before we got started. "Newborns rarely plan their attacks. They rely on their strength. They'll be stronger than you, so you'll have to be smarter and faster."

I considered myself a quick learner, but it still took me a while to get the hang of what he was trying to teach me. I ended up flat on my back several times, his teeth poised over my neck. The first time that happened, I let a panicked snarl out, but he quickly calmed me. "Sorry, I forgot to warn you," he said. "This is just how we've always signaled the end of a fight. I win, obviously. But I would never actually hurt you, Bella." He offered his hand to help me up, and I accepted it.

As I started to catch onto things, I ventured to ask a question as we sparred. "When you all came here for the first time, you said you weren't a threat to me anymore," I said as I spun away from him. "What did you mean by that?"

He sighed. "Why don't we take a break?" he said.

I agreed, even though we didn't really need it, and we found a couple of stumps nearby to sit on.

"I understand you've kept north and mostly isolated in this life," Jasper began. "Have you ever heard anything about the wars in the south?"

I shook my head.

"I spent eighty years fighting in them, as a lieutenant to a monster named Maria." He closed his eyes briefly. "It would take a considerable amount of time to tell you all the atrocities I committed. I doubt you want to know, anyway. But for those eighty years, I drank human blood. I didn't know any other way. But I felt everything all my victims felt.

"My only friend, Peter, had previously escaped with his mate, Charlotte. He returned for me, and told me it was possible to live freely. They still drank from humans, but still, freedom was almost more than I'd dared to hope for. But I continued to feel what my human victims felt in their final moments.

"It wasn't until I met Alice that I found there was a different way." A smile lit up his face as he thought about his mate. "She told me about the Cullens, and her visions. I started the animal diet in 1948. I struggled a lot. I continue to struggle. Edward said for a long time that I had the wrong mindset. It's hard to get the right mindset when you never knew there was one to begin with.

"But you...you helped a lot, when you were human. Meeting you, and seeing the love between you and Edward...it helped me see humans as more than just prey, which is what I had told myself for eighty years to help me cope. I made myself believe it. But you helped me at least begin to unlearn it.

"But even so, you were in danger around me, more so than the others. On your eighteenth birthday, everyone saw that. You came over to our house for a party-Alice's idea. She didn't see anything happening. It was an accident. You got a papercut opening a present, and...I lost control. Carlisle and Emmett managed to hold me back, but...that's when Edward realized that as a human, you weren't safe around us."

Jasper released a deep sigh before looking me in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, Bella. This whole thing wasn't Edward's fault...it was mine."

I reached out my hand and placed it over Jasper's. He looked surprised. "It's nobody's fault, Jasper," I said. "It's all right. I don't blame anyone. Thank you for telling me about your past. I'm glad I could help you...unlearn what you were taught."

"Always so gracious," he said with a smile. "Now, where were we?" He rose. "You were just getting the hang of things, I think..."

* * *

After I got a firmer grasp on things, Jasper called Emmett out, and I started sparring against him as Jasper supervised. He said that Emmett was most like a newborn in his strength and fighting style. I struggled at the start of the matches, but I started getting the hang of things again. As the sun began to set, Jasper let us go for the day.

"You did really well, Bella," he told me as we headed back inside.

"For a beginner," Emmett said with his ever-present grin. I gave him a playful shove.

Both of my-well, my brothers-quickly disappeared into the compound. I could hear Edward playing his keyboard upstairs. I smelled something strange and slightly nauseating coming from the kitchen. I decided to investigate the smell first.

Esme was the only one in the large room. She was standing in front of the cold oven, assembling things out of pinecones, peanut butter, dried fruit, and birdseed.

"What are you doing?" I asked, genuinely curious.

She turned and smiled at me. "Making all-natural birdfeeders," she said.

"Why?"

"I like to watch them," she said, turning back to her craft. "The birdwatching is incredible here. But they won't come near this compound unless they have a very good reason to. I'm trying to make these as tempting as I possibly can."

I went over to stand by the window. I closed my eyes as I let the sound of Edward at his keyboard wash over me, letting the setting sun warm my skin. I looked down and watched in wonder as the light illuminated me. I never got tired of it. I allowed myself to smile slightly. I could pretend, right now, that everything was perfect. Except...

"Esme?" I asked, keeping my back to her. I heard her turn from the oven, towards me. She didn't say anything, but I knew she was listening intently. She was always ready to listen.

I felt the venom prick my eyelids, and I knew that if I could, I would be crying. I wasn't sure if I missed crying or not.

"Do you think I'll ever get my human memories back?"

I didn't hear her move, but I felt her hand, gentle on my arm.

"I don't know, Bella," she said sadly. She paused a moment. "But can I tell you something?"

I turned to her and nodded. Esme could tell me anything.

"Bella, I don't know if you know this, but our lives ended in a very similar manner." She smiled sadly. "We both jumped to our deaths over lost love."

My eyes widened. There had been someone for Esme before Carlisle?

She saw the look on my face and guessed what I was thinking. "Yes, Bella," she said, nodding. "There was someone before Carlisle. But it wasn't him I jumped for. He was-well, maybe that's a story for another day."

I was curious, but I nodded. There would be another time for that. We had plenty of time.

"It was a different kind of love, Bella." A look of pain came over Esme's face, and she brought her arms around herself, as if she was trying to hold herself together. The gesture was familiar to me. "I tried to kill myself because I lost my baby boy."

Before I knew what I was doing, I had my arms around Esme. If I was honest with myself, I was still grappling with the knowledge that I would never be able to have children. Never. Eternity was a long time. What if I changed my mind? I knew I hadn't yet grasped what I had missed out on.

But for Esme, who was the most motherly person I knew, who it seemed had been born to be a mother, who would have been the best mother anyone could ever ask for, who had surely wanted that baby boy more than anything...I could not imagine the pain she must have gone through when she lost him.

Esme was trembling slightly, but she hugged me back fiercely.

"He was only two days old," she whispered. I could hear the pain in her voice. I hugged her harder, and she responded in kind. After a long time, we pulled back from each other.

"Bella," she said, looking me in the eye, "I don't remember him. Not at all." She paused to let that sink in. Then she went on, "I don't remember anything about him. I don't remember his face, or his eye color, or any little things he might have done. Granted, he was only two days old and spent most of that time ill, but..." She shook her head. "I don't remember holding him for the first time. I don't even know if the doctors let me hold him. I don't even know what I named him, or what I wanted to name him." She paused again. "You know who I remember? My husband. Who-well, to put it plainly for now, I don't  _want_  to remember." She snarled suddenly. "He doesn't  _deserve_  to be remembered." I stepped back in surprise-I'd never seen Esme look like that before.

She took a breath and calmed down. "My baby, though...my baby deserves to be remembered. But he isn't."

Esme gently took my hand. "I know what it's like, to have been through such pain that you wanted to end your life...and barely remember. Sometimes I think it's a blessing, sometimes I think it's a curse. Some days I want to remember. Most days I don't. But I understand why you do want to remember. By all accounts, your life was very happy, Bella.  _You_ were happy. And I will always treasure the memories I have of you from before your change. I'll treasure them for you." We smiled at each other as she moved back towards the oven.

"We can't change what is past, Bella," she said, turning her back to me and rolling the pinecones in the birdseed. "Alice will be the first to tell you that we can change the future. But only when we decide to."

* * *

Edward and I talked through that night. He told me what he knew about my life, about my family-Charlie and Renée. I felt terrible for not remembering them, but nothing Edward shared with me jogged any clear memories.

He told me about our time together. He told me about running into James, Victoria, and Laurent. He told me how James had lured me away from Alice and Jasper, and had ultimately ended up as a pile of ash. He said that they knew Victoria had pledged a vendetta against the Cullens for destroying her mate.

By the time the sun came up, I felt all caught up on the important events. On whom Victoria was and why she tried to kill me.

"She's dead, though, Bella," Edward reminded me gently. "The wolves killed her."

"Yeah," I said.

We went downstairs to meet the rest of the coven members.

"It's overcast today," Carlisle said. "I think a group of us should go into a town today to get some supplies."

"Matches and lighters, mostly," Edward whispered so only I could hear.

Garrett wanted to go, but Kate quickly nixed the idea. She said that he'd just started the animal diet, and his self-control wasn't good enough to be around humans yet. I wondered if my self-control was good enough, but I didn't want to chance it.

Esme and Emmett volunteered to go with Carlisle. They decided it would be better with a smaller group, anyway. Meanwhile, the Denalis all decided to go hunting together. Both groups departed after some quick goodbyes.

"Ready to practice some more, Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Actually..." I said, touching my hand to my throat.

"You're thirsty?" Edward asked.

I nodded. It had been slowly building for the past few days, but it was only then I was suddenly totally aware of just  _how_ thirsty I was.

"Carlisle asked me to stay here with Alice," Edward said, looking regretful. "He wants us to stay at 'headquarters,' as it were. I don't know if you could catch up with the other group. Jasper, do you want to go with her?"

"I think I'm good," Jasper said, his eyes on Alice.

"Rose? Do you mind?" Alice asked.

Rosalie sighed. "Okay," she agreed.

"I don't like the idea of just you two going out alone..." Edward said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Edward," Alice said pointedly from the sofa, where she was flipping through a fashion magazine.

"I don't plan on going far," Rosalie promised.

"...All right," Edward finally agreed.

* * *

Rosalie and I decided to go in the opposite direction the Denalis had gone. Apparently, she didn't think I needed a babysitter. I think she thought I was cramping her hunting style. She liked brown bears. I, strangely, preferred the caribou. Like Garrett, our different diets meant that we had to split up if we were both going to get what we wanted. Alice was probably watching us, and Edward would know Rosalie had been slacking off on guard duty the second we returned home, but I was enjoying myself while I could. Conveniently, there was spotty cell phone reception within the park at best, so neither Alice nor Edward could call and chastise her for ditching me.

I soon had my fill, and was trying to pick up her scent, so we could meet up and return home. I had just found it and turned to track her, when the wind changed direction, and I picked up an unfamiliar scent. It was definitely vampire, and it was close by.

I was still trying to decide whether I should make a run for it when the stranger made himself known. There was a rustling sound, and then he appeared at the edge of the clearing.

He was tall and imposing, yet probably not much older than me. He had dark blond hair.

His eyes were red.

He smiled at me, but this was no crooked grin. This smile made alarm bells go off in my head.

I needed to run.  _I should run,_ I thought, but the wind changed again, and the scents of at least three others hit me in the face. They were close, too, but for the moment, they were choosing to remain hidden.

One thing was clear, though: I was surrounded.

The young stranger opened his arms as he drew closer to me, as if he was greeting an old friend.

We weren't old friends. I was very sure I'd never seen him before. And yet, he knew my name.

"Bella," he said, almost happily. "Bella Swan." He stopped several feet in front of me, still smiling. "I've found you at last."


	15. Projecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: This story is rated T for reasons. One of them is a small part of this chapter.
> 
> Song: It Was All in Your Mind-by Wade Robson

_BPOV_

I forced a friendly smile onto my face. "I don't believe we've met," I said. _Stall him,_ a voice whispered urgently in my head. I fervently hoped Alice was seeing this. I hoped she was organizing a rescue party. Failing that, I hoped Rosalie would catch the scents and be able to get home undetected, letting everyone know that I was in danger.

Because I _was_ in danger, my instincts were screaming that much.

"You're right, we haven't," he said. "But if I'm not mistaken, you and I are something like siblings. You see," he grinned at my stunned expression, "I believe we have the same creator."

"Victoria?" I asked. I wasn't sure what to think. What, exactly, did this young man want with me?

He nodded, then held out his hand. "Name's Riley, by the way."

I hesitantly grasped his hand and shook it. My mind was reeling.

He was still smiling broadly. He tilted his head. "I believe you're mated, Bella, is that correct?"

I was confused. He'd just called me his sister, now was he hitting on me?

I struggled to keep the smile on my face. "Something like that," I said. _Keep it nice and vague. He doesn't need to learn anything new..._

"To Edward Cullen, am I right?" Riley was still smiling that dangerous smile. I drew a sharp breath and took a step back. He took my reaction as an affirmative, and kept talking.

"I was mated, once," he said. His smile grew. "For three wonderful months. I was mated to Victoria, Bella."

Part of me was confused. Edward had told me that Victoria and James were mates. And gathering from what I had been told, I had assumed that vampires mated for life.

But all of a sudden I knew why he was here: He was here to finish what Victoria and James had started. He was here to kill me.

"I wasn't responsible for Victoria's death," I blurted out. "The Quileute wolves killed her." I couldn't believe that I had just thrown Jake under the bus, but my first priority was getting away from Riley and his backup. If they decided to go after Jake and the others, my family and I would regroup and figure something out. But to do that, I had to get away...

Riley wouldn't stop smiling, and I was beyond unnerved by it. "I know," he said. "And I know they killed her because they were defending you."

 _Keep him talking,_ the voice said. I listened. "How did you know that?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"We picked off one of the little ones," he said nonchalantly. I gasped. His grin widened, if that were possible. "We got some information out of him before he died. Did you know they have a hive mind? Or a pack mind, I suppose.

"We made it look like an accident, of course," he continued. "Like a tree fell on him. Our numbers weren't what they are now. We weren't ready to wipe out a whole tribe of potential werewolves. But after we're through here," he gestured to me, "I think we may finally be ready."

I was horrified. "You're talking genocide," I said through gritted teeth.

Riley shrugged. "Like they wouldn't wipe out every vampire on the planet if they had a chance."

"They didn't hurt me," I said quietly.

"No," Riley said. "But only because one of them was stupid in love with you. And didn't they threaten to kill you if you ever came near their territory again?"

That smile was really getting to me. His words were really getting to me.

"So," I said, pretending we were talking about the weather, "exactly how many vampires do you need to wage a war?"

"Oh, I can't give you numbers, Bella." He shook his head. "Very few survive past the first year. And we've had some deserters here and there. I haven't kept up with the exact amount. But I feel confident in saying you and your coven are outnumbered two-to-one."

I stiffened. "What does my coven have to do with this? I thought you were here for me."

He shook his head again. Why wouldn't he stop smiling? "Silly, self-centered girl," he said. "If we only killed you and left the rest of them alive, do you really think they'd let us go on our merry way? No, we're going to kill them all. Less mess. For me, anyway."

He took a step towards me. "Of course, you will be the first to die, and Edward will be the last. Victoria would have wanted it that way." He laughed. "I had hoped to kill you in front of him, make him beg for your life, but I suppose letting him see your head before I toss it in the fire will be just as effective."

He pointed at me. "Take her apart, but don't burn her just yet," he commanded. The three young vampires emerged from their hidden positions around me.

I eyed them wildly. I could take one, maybe two. Definitely not three.

I was dead.

I was already dead.

I'd just have to take as many with me as I could.

I stared Riley in the eye and assumed my fighting stance. It was clear he was going to watch from the sidelines, smugly.

I'd just turned to engage the dark-haired female closing on my right flank when I saw a flash of blonde hair fly through the air behind Riley. He was so busy gloating, he never even heard her coming.

In less than half a second, Rosalie had Riley on his knees, his head clasped firmly in her hands.

"None of you make a move, or your leader loses his head," she snarled.

My relief knew no bounds. Although she appeared to be alone, it seemed we currently had the situation well in hand.

Then, to my horror, Rosalie released her grip on Riley and collapsed to the ground. "No!" she screamed, her hands twisting in her hair. "Help me! Somebody, anybody, help me!"

I looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was hurting her. My gaze settled on the small male to my left. He was glaring at Rosalie ferociously, a grim smile lighting up his face. It reminded me of Kate's expression when she used her power. Could this be something similar?

Rosalie was howling, helpless on the ground, as Riley watched her. He seemed satisfied, just watching her pain.

I didn't know what to do.

"NO! Royce, no! Please," she wailed at the top of her lungs. "They're hurting me!"

I still didn't know what was happening to her, or who Royce might be. But I felt cold at the certainty that she was hurting.

"Not my sister, you bastard!" I screamed, and I lunged at the newborn causing her pain.

But the two remaining ones were faster, catching my arms. The sadistic newborn remained focused on Rose, as Riley stalked toward me.

I didn't care if my death or incapacitation was imminent. I only cared about Rosalie, about making her pain stop. I was focused entirely on her.

And then I had the oddest sensation. I was suddenly aware of what I could only describe as a balloon on the outskirts of my mind. As I concentrated on it, I felt it expanding beyond me, beyond my mind, and then I felt Rosalie's light and warmth within me.

And in that instant, Rosalie sat up, looking around, disoriented. Before our enemies knew what was happening, Rose had regained her bearings. She was on her feet in half a second, by my side in another, and this time, she made good on her promise of decapitating Riley.

Together, we made short work of the pair who had been restraining me, but the gifted one turned tail and fled upon the realization that his powers had been rendered useless.

Rose made to go after him, but I grabbed her arm. "We should get back and tell the others. Find some matches." I gestured at the dismembered bodies at our feet. Burning seemed so permanent, and I didn't really want to do it, but I knew we had made enemies who would not be stopped. Killing them was the only way.

Rose glared after him and shrugged my hand off her arm.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said gruffly, brushing some dirt off her sleeve. "You?"

"Yeah," I said. "We'll get him, don't worry. I'll help you tear him apart, if you want."

"I appreciate the offer," she said with a small smile. Then she frowned thoughtfully. "What happened just now? I mean, it was like I was reliving...that night...and then, it just stopped. I don't think he meant to stop it. Did you see how surprised he was when I got up?"

"He didn't stop it," I said. "I felt him still trying to get to you."

"You...felt him?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Call me crazy, but I think I just figured out how to project my shield."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *sticks head out of Star Wars trash compactor* Um, hi. I believe the word "soon" was tossed around to some of you, referring to this update?
> 
> Yeah, I'm really sorry. But Star Wars hype! Then Christmas, then SW one-shot I had to get out of my system, then New Year's and lots of family stuff. And to be honest, I really haven't felt a ton of inspiration for this story lately. Again, I am very sorry for those of you who've been waiting on pins and needles. How about I stop making promises I can't keep and just update when I update, okay? Thanks for sticking with me. Love you guys!


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